Insider Online Dating Secret : Let Her FEEL You Seeing Her
Both men and women make a terrible mistake — in dating and when they get into a relationship.
It's essentially a "marketing" mistake.
A bad marketer focuses on the features of his product — the "rich corinthian leather," the stitching, the rivets, the paint.
A good marketer focuses on the needs, wants and aspirations of the customer: for example, what assertive man of means doesn't want "the ultimate driving machine"?
The same is true with dating.
And your online dating profile is the perfect lab for you to learn to switch from common and boring "feature listing" to "dazzling marketing" — in this case — by reaching into the mind of the "customer" (the prospective reader/date) — and igniting her passion by employing the powerful element of her "being seen." And I mean truly being seen — by you.
Here's the bottom line: we all want to be "seen." Men want to be recognized as heroes. As worthy. As leaders. As admirable. Women want to be seen as bringers of beauty and grace, wisdom and intuition. They want to be "adored." You can start this dance before ever meeting her… Here is how you take a simple — and boring –list of attributes and turn it into a song that awakens deep "adored" self-recognition in a woman reading your profile. (It's what I mean — and I do MEAN it — that when you construct a profile the DAO way, they already WANT you before you meet. The work is largely done before you meet.)
Let's start here…
When I work with you on your profile, I always ask, "describe the woman you're looking for." In one case, a man looking for marriage listed the usual things — "kind, a good heart, playful, spiritual, outdoorsy, friendly." If I were a woman and I read that list, I would skip over it and move on to the next guy. However — let's recontexualize this list not as a mere rundown of her imagined attributes, but as reflected in your eyes. You are watching her.
Here's the rewrite (and remember, this example isn't for random dating, it's for a partner)…
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"I am inspired by your natural affection for people, your warmth, your deep heart, yourimpish playfulness. There is something spiritual about the way you connect, not only with me, but with others, with the natural world, and with your own wisdom. There is an irresistible beauty in that."
**
This is no mere list: you are already appreciating, even adoring her. Note what we did: a man, who she doesn't even know yet, is inspired by her — for just being her. He sees the way she connects with people and the world — notices that she's not just affectionate but "naturally" so – and by doing this we are summoning the women who see themselves that way. They know they are not false or putting on a show — and now, here's this man — you — who sees that in her. You see her core beauty: she is naturally affectionate.
Most men just see her boobs.
Also, we take take "playful" and make it "impish' – which is a bit child-like and cute — establishing your authority adoring her rather than a gawking schoolboy lusting upward at her. And finally — I connected her mere "outdoorsiness" and "friendliness" to her WISDOM and her BEAUTY.
If you've read Deep Attraction Online, you know to connect her outer beauty to her inner beauty. (By the way, notice how I threw in her ability to connect with me — a subtle kind of a challenge — if she really is the wise, naturally affectionate person – she will subconsciously want to prove that to me in her letter to me and when we meet. That's called getting off on the right foot. Or calf. Or thigh. Or…)
These quick contextualizations, placing the beauty and depth of the woman you seek squarely in your adoring gaze leads to the kinds of letters I want you to get daily. Like this one I recently received…
"I read your profile—and I must say, I felt you were speaking to me – or about me. Like you, I am authentic, loving, and kind. What stands out to me the most is how I feel your "deepness" it's amazing how few of us there are out there. And, I agree, if you dream big and expect big — big realized dreams is what you get :) … You are a kindred spirit. Hope to hear from you."
- Krista
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So — today's message:
1. Read Deep Attraction Online.
2. Think from her point of view, what would the woman you dream of feel like as you gazed upon her across the room?
3. I may do a live class next week where I will give more examples of how to turn boring into dazzling — and a profile into an irresistible invitation. If you'd like me to do that, comment below and tell me what you want to learn most — and I'll put together a webinar that gives you what you most want and need.
This is fun.
Do you want to discover some more great and effective online dating tips? If yes, then I suggest you download a copy of the 7 Secrets To Building Deep Attraction Online guide.
Click here ==> 7 Secrets To Building Deep Attraction Online Review, to read more about this guide.
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This article adds another source of adoration (and of course, teasing, mixed with adoration) — this professor says that the urge to shop grows from the same instinct to protect, feed and nurture those she loves. Have a read, and next time you are dragged through Nieman, let her know that you know that she is enacting an ancient ritual that, in some distant way, not only speaks her sensual core, but also her care for you, and if you have them, kids.
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They go to bars because they're bored, or their boyfriends are out of town, or they want attention — or in the case of one lover of mine — just to f*&k with guys for fun (she told a Lakers fan her nipples were painted gold and purple — and left him standing there, speechless).
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