Meeting Women -- Some Help I Could Have Used

Having been on this planet a few years, I have made a few discoveries in the “art” of meeting women. I hope to share a few of these discoveries and lessons here with you now. Keep in mind that while I was growing up, I did not have the resources that you all have now, so all of this was learned by trial and error (many errors!).

What do you want?

First, decide what it is you are looking for. A one night stand? A couch buddy to watch movies with? A long term relationship? Or something in between maybe? What you decide at this point will determine where and what you do to meet the woman you are looking for. For example – you would probably go to a bar to meet that one night stand. If you like art, you would go to a museum to meet that long term relationship. Think about where you would meet that person that matches what you are looking for, then go there. Not with the intention of meeting someone, but with the intention of enjoying yourself. Women are always attracted to someone that is having fun!

If you’re looking for that long term relationship, think about interests that you would like to have in common with them and take that tack in order to meet them. Like I said, art – a museum, Cars – an auto show, computers – the internet (sometimes!) and so on. The key to an LTR is sharing interests and opinions and “chemistry”. Worry about the first two at the beginning, the chemistry will come later!

Conversation

The art of conversation is not difficult. The party, the people at the party, common acquaintances, current events are all good topics to talk about. Keep to the positive though and try to avoid saying anything negative until you find out where their opinions lie. A good way to terminate a budding relationship is to make fun of someone’s dress just to find out it’s your interests best friend!

Avoid religion and politics to start with. These are minefields in the making and are a great way to spoil something before it even starts. Talking about sex right off is not necessarily a good thing either, even with that one night stand you have your eye on. True, there was a study done at one point that advised that if you walked up to a woman you wanted and said “Hey! Wanna F@#$?” that an average of 25% of them said yes. It didn’t tell you that 75% of those that said “No!” slapped the questioner in the face! There’s a painful lesson to be learned here…

Sense of Humor

A good sense of humor is imperative! Learn how to laugh at yourself. What I mean by this is that if you make a fool of yourself, laugh… don’t get angry about it. But be aware there is a fine line here – spilling a drink in your lap and responding “Gawd! I’m such a klutz tonight!” and laughing about it, is great! Excuse yourself, towel down and order another drink.

Spilling a drink in your DATES lap, saying “Gawd! I’m such a klutz tonight!” and laughing about it, is NOT the same thing! Laughing at the expense of yourself gives you a sense of humor. Laughing at the expense of others makes you a creep (to say the least)!

Body Language

There has been a lot said about this in the past and people tend to forget about it. But it is very important during “the hunt” and not something that should be ignored! Here are a couple of tips that will help you out:

Face her – If you’re sitting next to her, turn in your chair. Don’t just twist your head around. This will show that you are genuinely interested and not listening because you “have to” to get what you want. Also, this can be a good hint as to whether or not she is into you. If you face her, and she faces you, she probably finds you interesting and you’re making some headway! If she doesn’t face you and just turns her head or if she doesn’t even look, my advice would be to find another lady to pay attention to. This one is obviously not the one for you!
Look at her eyes – I don’t mean the ones below her shoulders, I mean the ones in her head! Now there is a trick here to doing this. Just staring into her eyes when she’s talking could be unnerving, so use your eyes and “scan” her face. Start with the left eye, move to a spot between her eyes, then her right eye. Then watch her lips as she speaks. Then start it all over. Don’t do this too fast as she probably think you’re nuts, but slowly rotate what you are looking at will help you remain focused! Do NOT watch another girl walk by! You might as well slap her in the face…

Use these little tricks and you’ll be surprised how far you can get!

Conclusion

So decide what you want/need, hone your conversation skills, make sure your sense of humor is in gear and check your (and hers) body language and you should be able to go out and have the kind of fun you have been looking for!

With the number of resources that are out there on the web now, it’s really hard to make up your mind where to go for advice, where to go to meet women and what to do after you’ve met them. I wish this was a problem when I was younger as this would have reduced my learning curve quite a bit when it came to meeting (and scoring!) with the ladies!