My Boyfriend is Mad About My Past! How to Handle This Dating Drama
"My boyfriend is mad about my past," said the woman filled with confusion. You thought you were being forthcoming and honest when you spilled the beans on all your dating adventures to your guy, right? He didn't seem as receptive to that information as you hoped. In fact, the look of sheer horror on his face told you that you'd just made a big mistake. As much as our guys tell us that they love us no matter what, there are some subjects that do impact how they feel. Your dating past is one of them. If you've made the all-too-common mistake of telling your man too much about your history, you have to do something drastic to change things. If you don't, you'll risk losing him. Some men just can't accept the fact that their girlfriend was once attracted to or in love with someone else.
Obviously you wish you could shoot yourself back into time. If you could you would never have brought up your past, right? Unfortunately, it's too late for that now. It's out there and he's well aware of it. He likely is allowing the thoughts of you with other men to consume his thoughts. Even though those relationships are now over and have been for some time, it doesn't matter to him. He can only see that you were close to other men before him.
Your job now has to be ensuring that he understands that there isn't anyone else you think of but him. You can start that by not apologizing over and over again for sharing too much. Each time you do that you're shining a mega watt spotlight on that information. It brings it to the surface again and it becomes the focal point of your conversation. Stop talking about it if you want to get his mind to focus more on the here and now than what went on back then.
Explain to him that you just want to move forward and that you feel incredibly grateful to be with him now. Then you need to prove that to him by treating him like the treasure he is to you. That means going out of your way to do the things that make him happy. If you tend to complain about little things, stop doing that now. You want each and every experience he has with you whether it's just sitting on the sofa watching television or even intimate situations to be enjoyable and memorable.
It will take time to move past your past but it can certainly be done. The key is to not bring up anyone you've dated before again. Stay focused on how great your boyfriend is, and remind him of why you care so deeply for him. Tell him every day that there isn't anyone you'd want to be with more. If you do that, he'll soon forget who you were with before and his thoughts will be much more centered on the future and how you two will explore that together.
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