Nice guys finish first!

OK, here's some issues that I'd like to tackle as I've found them to be a major concern to many guys as well as ladies.

The premise is that nice guys finish last: really?

There are, in my opinion, two trains of though here. One is that a nice guy won't, for a number of reasons including shyness, get the girl, whereas a bad boy, or assertive guy will. Fair enough. I tend to agree with this statement, but must add to it, get the girl for what?

If getting the girl means getting laid, then yes, Mr. assertive has much better chances. If this is what the lady wants, then it's a win/win. I find nothing wrong with this. If however the lady wants a relationship, as many do, but the guy just wants sex, then it becomes a win/loss situation. I have heard so many ladies decry the wrongness of this situation that my head still spins. And if the guy was bullshitting just to get in the ladies pants, then I agree with her gripe here.

Many woman have stated that they like the excitement of the bad boy, the take charge attitude. Nothing wrong with this at all. But there is an irony here as well. Many of these same woman have said that they know the difference between what many bad boys want as compared to nice guys. They say, as a general rule, bad boys treat them in not the best ways ie: cheat on them, lie etc. They also claim that many nice guys don't take the lead. This many times is the case, but who says that nice guys have to take the lead? Why?
Times have changed and many woman have no problems starting a dialog with a guy. I think this is a grand idea and applaud these woman for taking charge and going after what they want! Many woman may be surprised to know that shy guys can and will take the lead in a relationship. albeit, it will be after he becomes comfortable with the lady. I know I do.

So ladies, you don't have to wait for a bad boy, or assertive guy, to make the first move to get an assertive guy that can make decisions. Did you know this?

There's a saying I use all the time to express a second thought:
"Woman date bad boys, but marry nice guys"

If in the end, a woman marries a nice guy who she probably feels is more responsible and has a much less chance of cheating and lying to her, then who really has finished last?

I think what could help dating and relationships quite a bit is to question ourselves on what we want and change, or define more decisively, what a nice guy really is. Let's face it, not everything is black or white. Bad boys aren't always bad, and nice guys aren't always nice either. But, for the reasons I sited above, it may be time to stop declaring sayings as fact such as "Nice guys finish last."

When all is said and done in long term relationships, Nice guys finish first!