Older Women Younger Men: the Myth of Newness

With the emergence of the term cougar, the discussion of older women and younger men has once again heated up. The poster couple for this supposedly hot new trend is Hollywood celebrities Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher; eventhough they have been married for over three years now.

Still the numbers are interesting. According to a study from the American Association of Retired Persons, it is estimated that over thirty percent of women between the ages 40 and 69 are dating men who are 10 years younger or more. Since the study does not take into account relationships where the age gap is five and nine years, it's clear that the relationship is more prominent than many have imagined.

There are a number of reasons given for this supposed phenomenon. Certainly the fact that for the most part the social and economic status for many women has improved greatly. Which in some ways may explain a sort of new confidence in picking and choosing a relationship.

This status upgrade goes hand in hand with the disappearance of certain social mores. Many areas due to prejudice, fear or just plain ignorance were off limits to women for centuries. Even now when a woman breaks thru old barriers it is quite often ill received in different circles.

Which brings us back to older women younger men. Why the fascination with this allegedly new relationship trend? Because in some ways it is still taboo. The more something carries the forbidden label the more people want to know about. One minute they are shocked and yet at the same time they can't wait to find out the latest.

The tag of newness may be do to the new hot terminology cougar but older women younger men has been around just as long as the the older man younger woman. Just because for years society has said hooray for one and boo to the other does not mean the relationship only existed in some secret underground hideaway. As has been pointed out one of the most successful writing teams of the movies and the theater was Ruth Gordon and her husband Garson Kanin.

Gordon was 16 years Kanin's senior and they flourished in a time when social standards were ten times more strict than they are now. But it wasn't some closely guarded secret. They were out there for all the world to see and by the way they just so happened to love each other and stayed married for 43 years.

Are there more older women younger men relationships? Probably or at least the numbers indicate. As for new, obviously there are a great many people who have never heard the immortal words of comedian Jackie "Moms" Mabley: "There ain't nothing an old man can do for me but bring me a message from a young one." And Mabley said that in a time when a cougar really was a cat.