Online Dating for the Holidays

Christmas is days away and another new year is coming. The holidays can be lonely for those who have no one to share it with. It may be the most dangerous time of year for those who are looking for love on the net. Their loneliness leads them to try to desperately fill their emptiness and they fall for any affection that may be bestowed by the opposite sex. Scammers and hustlers feed off of this loneliness and use it to make a quick buck.

If you meet someone online don’t be in a hurry to confess love just to feel emotionally connected to someone for the holidays. For most of us, part of the “feel good time” for the holiday is the act of giving. Scammers know this and are ready to say “I love you” if it buys them all the gifts you are willing to give. Stop! If you just met someone online during the holidays take your time and let the relationship take its course to see if the feelings are sincere. It is too easy during the holidays to get caught up in the emotional trap of “wanting to be loved” versus sincere feelings of love that can only be known when enough time has passed to get to know each other. Letting time be your ally in finding love online is something I preach no matter what time of the year it is, but the emotional battle for wanting to be loved during the holidays makes those who are searching for love even more vulnerable. For some, it may be better to let the holidays pass before continuing their search.

If you have found sincere love, the holidays are a time to be grateful and joyous for being blessed with the greatest gift of all. There truly is no better gift than to have someone to share your life and feelings with. It is a gift that becomes more precious as memories grow. The first Christmas may be special, but the fiftieth Christmas is the kind of joy that only years of loving each other can bring.

If you feel emotionally down, make some online friends, but keep your heart guarded from those who will try to take advantage of your loneliness. What is even more despicable is that many of these scammers will use religion to boost their character in hopes of gaining your trust. Despite their confessions of faith, their true character usually is exposed if you keep your emotions in check, take your time to get to know the person and use common sense. Don’t let your emotions be victimized by words that have little meaning unless you experienced living the feelings of those words. Usually only time together gives you that experience. It isn’t a race, it is the quality of the journey that matters.

I usually don’t like giving examples knowing that everyone’s experience is different, but for the sake of clarity I will provide one. If a guy meets a lady on Dec 20th and by Dec 24th she tells him that he is the greatest man she ever met and loves him, chances are he needs to step back and smell the coffee. Four days and its love? Come on! Yet, it happens all the time. Men will confess love to a lady they know nothing about - N O T H I N G - simply because he wants to be loved. You may find the lady attractive, you may wish she was under your tree for Christmas, but to say you know this lady well enough to confess true love in a matter of four days seems to be the type of gift a scammer would be hoping for. Common sense - what happens to it when a beautiful lady uses words that men want to hear? Don’t make promises, don’t send money, just get to know other, that is if she is willing to stick around to get to know you without you sending money or gifts. If she is looking for true love, she will find you just as wonderful 3 or 4 months from now as she did in 3 or 4 days.

It is hard to state a time table that fits everyone’s emotions, but usually if you are confessing love within the first month there has not been enough time to get to know the truth. Each person is their own judge that is why there are no set rules for love, but common sense needs to prevail if you are going to survive the online dating world and the perils that it may bring when searching for love.

My holiday wish is that everyone finds a person that is true to their heart – not only for the first Christmas, but for the fiftieth Christmas where the gift of love becomes even more precious with memories from years of loving each other.