Overcoming Self-Consciousness

I have a social issue. Ever since I was a kid, I wasalways very friendly, outgoing, sociable, charming, positive, and likable. Inaddition, I was never shy, but as I approached my teens, I became reclusive andreserved. It was also at that time when my self-esteem severely affected mysocial life, particularly where women were concerned.

This is about how I see myself and how other people seeme. Years ago, I was in a restaurant with family and friends. I had to use therestroom, which was located at the other end of the restaurant. As I made myway across, I have a tendency to look around at peoples' faces out ofcuriosity. When I do this, some people responded by looking back at me whileothers didn't notice. The ones that do appeared to have unfriendly looks. Fromwhat I can tell, they see me with glaring stares and when that happens, I tendto get self-conscious.

Maybe I am misinterpreting, but that is what I'venoticed. It doesn't happen all the time and there have been situations in whichpeople were responding in a polite way with smiles.

Does this affect everybody to an extent? Have you everexperienced this? Does it ever go away at one point? How can I overcome my selfconsciousness and how other people perceive me?

Kind regards,

Hello!

First off, yes. It affects every single person to onedegree or another. You are certainly not alone in this!

Everyone is self-conscious at some time or another.Imagine starting a new job or going to a new school where you don't knowanybody. How could you NOT be this way?

Interestingly, as you get older, it tends to subside formost people, but frankly, why wait? It's not difficult at all to fix!

When you realize that everyone is in the same boat youare, you also begin to think that you can affect others too. For instance, whenyou carry a "pleasant look" on your face, that's a pleasant look toyou - not everyone interprets things the same way. Some actually may see thisas aggressive for instance simply because you're holding their eye contact.

One of the exercises I give my students is to walkthrough a crowded mall or restaurant and practice holding someone's eye contactuntil THEY look away. This is a very aggressive action however and on occasion,you'll find someone that won't break it.

That's an Alpha male by the way. The net result can beinteresting - everything from more aggression from that person to actualacceptance and connection! It's amazing!

However, the vast majority of people will look down at thispoint. When you see that, you'll now know that it's a sign of submission andself-questioning - just like you're doing to yourself! See? Almost everyonedoes the same thing!

In my first book, "Being a Man in a Woman'sWorld" I have an exercise where I have people make eye contact and thenuse it to break the silence as a way to learn how to approach people. Thedetails are more than I can give you here in these messages but trust me, it'sa great first step to getting this fixed permanently. If you want to discoverthis, consult the book.

The point however is that you can easily control this!You don't have to suffer with this sort of anxiety at all. In fact, youshouldn't suffer with it. People actually are fun and engaging if you give themthe chance. More important, WOMEN are fun and engaging, but you have to learnhow to give them that stage. When you do, you're entire life turns around.

As I asked before - why wait to get this fixed?

Best regards...

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