"The time when you feel like you are not growing is the time when you grow the most"
-Me
I'm a brutally honest, heart centered, charismatic, take no shit, compassionate, loving, chakra meditating, self educated, female bisexual promoting, Relationship Sex and Dating Master, Truth Seeking, Natural born leader, spiritual warrior, passionate writer and teacher.
Hatred for women is one of the biggest issues that are holding guys back from learning dating and relationship mastery. Most of the time their hatred for women goes on unconsciously, just below the surface. This is common even with guys who are trying to get “good” with women. There are several reasons why guys hate women.
The first reason for their contempt for women stems from their anger at how easily women can get sex. They will call women sluts or whores but the truth is they wish that they could get laid as easily as they do. A guys desire to have an easy pass to getting laid comes from feelings of being inadequate. They feel like they are not enough and try and fill that gap inside of themselves through sex. When they are unable to get sex, they go further into despair.
Men who hate women hold onto feelings of not being enough and desire to cover this up by sleeping with a whole score of women. They can’t accomplish this and it intensifies their feelings of being inadequate because it’s something that guys should naturally be able to do.
Guys hate women for their ability to get men to do whatever they want them to do. They hate this because it reflects back their own desires to be able to control and manipulate people. I see this all the time with guys, they get into stuff like inner game reframe and ideagasms not to expand love but to control women. This desire to control others stems from their own inability to control themselves and their own lives.
Most things that are based in fear like controlling and manipulating others are often judged very harshly and become too painful for a person to handle. As a result, their desires get projected out into the world. They try and fix the crack in the mirror and not themselves. They will live vicariously through their children because they are mad at themselves for not making something of their lives. They will try and offer unsolicited advice on relationships because their own relationships suck. They will go door to door convincing others to worship their God because deep down they don’t believe it.
This all comes back to unbalanced orange chakra. With an unbalanced orange chakra the ego tends to run wild. The ego wants nothing more then to control others. It likes to feel superior to people because it is in fact deeply insecure. It feels superior by putting other people down.
A great example of this is how most women will treat each other. Its very common for women to hate other women, unless they are friends with them. Even then they are usually just in competition with each other. An average looking girl will call a hotter girl a slut. Not because the hotter girl is in fact a slut but because they feel inferior to them. This leads to a lot of woman on woman hating because there will always be a hotter girl.
If the hotter girl in fact turns out to be a slut, the less attractive girl is happy. She feels happy because it puts the attractive woman on a lower scale then her. She feels superior and her ego is nice and pleased.
Another cause for men hating women is because even the ugliest girl can still get men’s attention. The guy hates this because he is attention deprived. He wishes he could try and attempt to fill the gap inside of him by getting attention from others.
Attention from others is what the ego loves. It makes the ego feel special and important but this is a lie. No body is special, including yours truly. We are all one and all equal, a fact that this ego wishes to ignore.
A guy who lets his ego control him will desire the massive attention from others. Unfortunately the ego can never get filled no matter what. No matter how much attention you get from other people or how cool they think you are it will not be enough for the ego. Sadly, this fact is not realized by most people and they waste an entire lifetime chasing a mirage.
If they do get tons of attention from women and sleep with the hottest girls, after a while they will find it very unsatisfying. This is because the ego is a bottomless pit. No external thing will ever bring you true happiness. Granted, love from women is nice but it’s not a requirement to be happy. If you aren’t happy with yourself no amount of external love will make up for it.
Guys also hate and love women because of the old Madonna/whore complex. They love the whore and feel guilty as a result. They feel this way because deep down inside their programming from parents and society tell them that they should go for the Madonna, the good girl. It’s like being pulled apart emotionally by two opposing magnets.
Another motivation for hating women comes from the guilt that they feel from their HUMAN biology. The biology of a human is very animalistic in nature. It doesn’t care about love or loyalty or even the girl’s name. It cares only about mating. Deep down there is a fantasy of every guy to have un-attached, un-emotional, perspicuous sex where they basically use the other person. It’s something that is hardwired into EVERY GUY.
This hump and dump kind of fantasy creates a large amount of guilt and shame. They feel guilty for even having thoughts like this, let alone actually doing it. They project their own values onto the human biology. They think that because they are into meditating and inner game that they should know better. They try and repress these thoughts and label them as “dirty.” Repression always comes out in unhealthy ways like resenting women.
The way to transcend the guilt of having lust no strings attached fantasies is to realize that its only the biological part of the body that has these desires. The biology part of yourself is NOT actually who you are. Don’t judge it or repressed it, simply let it go and know that its not you. Observe it.
The mind will see a hot woman and think about how great it would be to just rip her clothes off and have caveman style sex with her. This is fine, let the mind think what it wants to think, its not you anyways.
Hating women also comes from learning and becoming a pick up artist. Become a pick up artist long enough and you will learn to downright loathe women. Most of the guys who become good at picking up women started out being absolutely hopeless with them. They never got enough attention from women which caused a lot of anger and bitterness. They became good with women but still held onto this anger. Below the surface is a revenge mentality because they were never adored by them in the past.
On some level the pick up artist understands how shallow it is sleeping with new women every day of the week. Eventually they desire to be in a relationship with one of these girls and want something more.
The seduction community is based on showing higher value and pushing buttons. ACTING like you are indifferent is the cornerstone of their approaches. Acting aloof with draw in girls who are low consciousness and just as aloof as they are. These women will lie, cheat and sometimes steal from the guy. This will fuel their harboring bitterness and resentment towards women.
The PUA has some heart and deep deep down desires more than to just sleep with random girls. They want more but are stuck in the mindset of women being validation seeking state junkies. They have often helped women cheat on their boyfriends. The heart knows better than to do this. Cheating and dragon butter closes the heart greatly and causes a lot of pain. Like most people that feel pain, they must point a finger in order to avoid response-ability and abstain from letting the pain become too overwhelming. That finger is often pointed in the direction of women.
Another common reason why guys hate women is because of their own lack of ability to stand up for themselves. Women can either be your greatest helper or your worst enemy depending on how you treat them. If you have a complete lack of respect for yourself and let women walk all over you they will become your enemy- how can you respect someone who doesn’t even respect themselves.
A guy’s inability to stand up for himself and own his own strength will cause women to take advantage of them. They aren’t really mad at the woman for disrespecting them. They are really just made at themselves for not having more self-respect and putting up with too much crap.
Along these same lines a guy will begin to hate women if he has a lack of compassion for his past painful experiences. The compassion formula teaches us to understand how we invited these painful events into our lives. If a guy doesn’t accept response-ability for the role he played in the situation he will end up pointing a finger at women.
The mind tends to over generalize and lump things into an all or nothing category. It might have been Suzie that cheated on him but the mind over generalizes to think that ALL women are cheaters. If the past pain doesn’t get resolved through compassion the guy will end up having some level of disdain for women.
If the issues you have with hating women comes down to past relationships or experiences then run the compassion formula and get those issues solved. Compassion formula is like a magic pain reliever, better than any aspirin you will ever take.
A large portion of hatred for women stems from their relationship with their own mother. How their mothers treated them will be a strong indication on how they view and treat women. Some mothers are very aloof to their children. They don’t give enough love or attention and as a result the child begins to resent women.
To help “fix” these issues with hating women you must understand that it is not you that hate women but your ego. The ego desires to hold onto this anger towards women in order to get fed. It ensures its survival through your pain. Simply allow the thoughts to come up and to pass through you. Sit back and observe them without judgment.
Another trick to help balance your lack of attention issues is to repeat the following affirmation over and over: “I am enough.” Being enough means that you don’t need anything outside of yourself to make you feel happy. It doesn’t mean that you still don’t enjoy attention from women; it just means that you can take it or leave it. So the next time you feel resentment towards women repeat that affirmation until you calm down. After you have calmed down run the compassion formula.
Know that by hating women you are doing them a great disservice. Get over your not enough issues and spread the gift that is you.
-Alex
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