Relationship Issue: Why is Your Ex Still on Your Speed Dial?

It was a major hurdle to overcome but you did it. You rightly feel good about it even proud. You tell your family and friends and they congratulate you although behind your back they don't believe it. 

You've convince yourself however and that's the most important thing. Yupper, it was tough but you are completely over your ex. Way to go. And then you go out after a day at the job with some co workers. You seem to be enjoying yourself until the topic of food comes up. Everyone at the table starts chiming in about their favorite dish and recipes. You chime in that your ex used to make the best upside down cake that contained a special ingredient that really gave it a zesty flavor. You cannot recall what it was and so right then and there you pull out the old cell phone and call them.

Even people at the table not familiar with your relationship history stare at you funny. It would not be so bad except that you don't hang up right away. You and your ex start talking and reliving some of the dating relationship; the good and the bad. Now an uncomfortable vibe has settled over the table. People suddenly start remembering previous engagements and leave like the place is on fire. Before you know it, you are sitting at the table alone still having a not so pleasant back and forth with your ex.

When a relationship is good, it can make you feel like you are flying in the clouds. You get so close to each other physically and emotionally that everything they do seems to have a powerful effect on you. After awhile it's almost like you can read each other's thoughts. 

Unfortunately when the relationship crashes it can have the same powerful effect. It seems like a part of you has been taking away. You feel lost a little disoriented and somewhat empty. Where do you go to experience that flying in the clouds state of euphoria again?   

Many people have no idea what comes next so to paraphrase the Beatles they keep trying to "get back to where they once belonged." They can't let it go even though they have tried to convince themselves repeatedly they have moved on.

The fact of the matter is the relationship is over. Your ex has let it be known that there is no possibility of the two of you getting back together so do yourself a favor and accept it. Holding out hope is only robbing you of meeting someone new that believe it or not you may click with better than your ex.

That's a tough concept for some people to grasp.  They are under some misguided notion that a love like they had with their ex only comes along once in a lifetime. Wrong.  That kind of thinking only applies to mushy romantic songs which babble on about lost loves that will never be.

So take you ex off your speed dial. Stop going to some of those old haunts in the hopes of running into them again. Don't keep asking mutual friends have they seen your former significant other and how are they doing. That time has passed. Enjoy the memories (not too much) be thankful for what you had and get on with the rest of your life.