Relationships; Do Not Forgive Bad Behaviour

Posted: Feb 03, 2011 |Comments: 0 |

The greatest wealth we possess is within us and nothing may steal it from us when we learn to harness our inner strength through perfecting our self-esteem. ‘Unjust violence cannot be justified, it will destroy itself by its own excesses.' Sirach 1:22. Reinforcing our self-esteem pays dividends, because it is the lack of self-esteem, which allows perpetrators, like abusive partners and spouses et al, to impose on us the indignity of abuse. Bad behaviour is abuse irrespective of magnitude and if it is not addressed at the beginning, it will escalate. There is no condom to protect your psyche from the ravages of abuse beyond improving your self-esteem.

Tragically, religious misinterpretation has paved the way for slanderous depraved minds to abuse the wisdom of God and thus they abuse women unnecessarily. If all of us practiced one simple message of Jesus to love one another abuse may not be as rampant as it is and bad behaviour not a norm of ignorant folk. Education does not deprive one of being ignorant if that education is not accompanied with the belief that reinforces justice and mercy.

I have been working against abuse since my early teens and while managing a dairy farm in Ireland I knew I was in the wrong business because it killed me to witness flagrant disregard by a spouse for his partner. During the course of conversation with her, she declined support because of her religious adherence and commitment to longevity of marriage for better or worse.

Clarity towards understanding the term better or worse is absolutely necessary because abuse does not fall into that classification at all at all. To deny oneself valuable recognition while not curtailing indifference breeds contempt and in the eyes of dominant morons, it is seen as weakness that they shall delightfully exploit without remorse. How much wiser it would be to become wise in the ways of personal development than wallow in the squalor of a relationship where growth applies to the vegetables in the garden and not interpersonal and relationship growth.

Anger is no counselor for any adversity whether at abusers or by abusers and so it shall begin, your trek towards building self-esteem and encouraging others to follow suit. When our reservoirs are low, we attract what we fear and we also attract the reflection of our treasured emptiness. Mortals come in many guises, and as such are not always what they appear to the eye, that is why it is essential to build upon our strengths and reinforce self-esteem.

In your relationships, all of them, be adamant from the outset to not allow transgressions irrespective of measure and please never waver. We all make mistakes but it is the continuity of that practice which drills away at our strength and eventually when a bolt from the blue knocks us off our feet we are puzzled as well as damaged.

How I wish I could give you a hug over the internet, actually please recognise this next illustration as a genuine example of my hug to you, and let it give you strength: H-U-G--YOU--H-U-G. Having seen first hand through Social Services training the damages caused by bad behaviour it cannot be emphasised enough to train your children in the art of self-respect and respect for others as this may aid towards combating future abuse.

Be as complacent as you want to be in making allowances but all that does is feed the sore allowing it to fester and then ‘wallop' you are blinded while hitting the floor. When we decline to address an initial bad behaviour, we quietly portray high tolerance levels thus granting permission to the aggressor to throw more in our direction.

Bullies are like little children who desire to measure how far they may progress and if we do not halt them at the first slight, we shall lose before we begin. The book titled ‘Do not sweat the small stuff' should not be interpreted literally, because it is the small stuff that leads to bigger stuff thus be wise and vigilant.

If you have to fight for love then you are misplaced and would be wise to assess your future stance that is if you have one, while residing within the restraints and presence of a bully. As an exercise in education please study the books of the Bible and if there are any segments where you need assistance please be assured I am at your disposal. God bless and be happy always because you are worth it!

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