Security in Online Dating – It’s a Partnership

By some estimates, over 100 million people worldwide are currently involved in the world of online dating to some extent or another. Considering the impact that the internet has had on virtually all aspects of our day-to-day lives, it is hardly surprising that when it comes to forming the most important personal relationship most people will ever have, more and more people turn there for help. Regardless of what kind of relationship you are looking to build, and what sort of man or woman you are looking to start a relationship with, the chances are very good that there are literally dozens of services doing business on the internet that will cater to exactly what you are looking for. It is also a reasonable bet that your potential partner pool could easily number in the tens of millions of people worldwide.
That’s the good news.
The bad news is that along with the increased availability, accessibility and affordability that online dating provides comes an increased number of security risks. From personal safety concerns to identity theft, and everything in between, the fact that there are so many people utilizing all forms of internet dating naturally increases the risk that individuals who use these services incur. The simple fact of the matter is that – as with any other activity one engages in on the internet – if it has become popular, then there are a lot of people out there who are looking to take advantage of it. Whether they are sexual predators, identity thieves, or one time “soft hit” bogus credit card charge artists, not everyone on the internet is who they say they are, and keeping yourself safe online is as important as keeping yourself safe in any brick and mortar situation.
In the past, internet sites dealing with any level of social networking – and particularly internet dating sites – placed the onus for personal security squarely on the shoulders of the customer. A trite phrase such as “never give out your personal information to anyone you don’t know”, or some other like-phrased generic warning would both remove legal liability for anything that happened to their customers from them, and allow them to claim that they were doing everything possible to ensure their customer’s security. As internet users have become savvier, however, the businesses which continue to grow are those that take more proactive steps towards keeping their customers safe. These are dating sites that understand that the online security of their customers is not merely something that they take an advisory role in, but rather a partnership that they enter into with each person who chooses to utilize their service.
Anyone who has been on the internet for any length of time knows the basics of what to look for in any site. Sites need to be free of ‘phishing’ programs or cookies (easily verified by most computer security programs such as McAfee or Norton), financial transactions need to be handled by a verified secure server, and the site needs to be verified as “secure” by one or more independent agency (McAfee Secure,  GoDaddy, Yahoo, VeriSign, etc.). Internet dating sites, however – specifically due to the personal nature of their business – have a responsibility to take further steps to ensure the security of their users, and customers have a right to expect increased levels of security services to be provided by these kinds of sites.
Some of the services you should look for when choosing an online dating site include:
* Site Specific Non-download Access – Simply put, if a dating sit requires you to download any software in order to use their service, you may do well to stay away from it. In many cases, downloaded software can contain viruses, worms, or ‘phishing’ cookies. Additionally, by downloading software, the site itself places the onus of security squarely on you, the customer. Sites that facilitate contact on the site itself without the need for downloaded programs usually will have security protocols built into it.
* Stated and Serious Anti-fraud or Anti-scam Policies – One of the first things you should check out on any dating website is its anti-fraud and anti-scam policies. While most sites will have a paragraph or two regarding some form of policy regarding dishonesty, a quick look around the site should be all you need to find out how seriously they take it. See if they have a specific and well publicized way to report scammers, and also look around to see if they have much of a database of articles on how to avoid scammers in the first place. It’s a good bet that the more of their website they devote to anti-scam and anti-fraud materials, the more seriously they take the problem.
* Identity Verification – Though relatively new in the market, identity verification on dating and marriage websites is becoming increasingly popular with many of the top-end websites. While the site should certainly not give you access to the details of another person’s identity (you certainly wouldn’t want them giving that information out about you, after all), a site that takes all reasonable measures to ensure that the people you are meeting online are who they say they are is definitely stepping up their game as far as security is concerned. While this is not yet a common practice, those sites that do offer these services are at the cutting edge of the online dating world.
No matter how secure any dating website is, no amount of company based security or screening processes are going to be 100% guaranteed to keep out all the bad guys (or gals). And the sad truth is that, particularly when it comes to dating and marriage websites – and the romance that is often involved in the social interactions initiated on them – a significant number of the security compromises that occur happen because of carelessness on the part of otherwise very careful people. As people have become more aware of the scams that are out there, scammers have also adapted their methods, sometimes spending considerable amounts of time building up relationships before going in for the kill. Though these basic rules have been stated over and over again over the years, they still bear repeating.
* Never give out credit card, bank card or other financial information to individuals you meet on dating websites.
* Be very careful about giving out personal information including your full name, address, or telephone number.
* Be very wary of anyone who wants to get too close too fast.
* Be careful of anyone who suggests going outside of whatever agreements you made when joining a dating website, including communications outside of the website’s established procedures.
* Be very suspicious of anyone who starts talking about money – and specifically their lack of it – soon after you meet them.
Legitimate dating and marriage websites will do what they can to keep you safe as you search for that perfect someone using their services, but it is important to understand that keeping you secure is a partnership. Once you find the right site you can expect them to hold up their end of the bargain. Make certain that you hold up your end!