Should You Get a Dating Coach?

Dating coach, or no dating coach - that's the question.

Getting a personal trainer in the 1990s was often seen as a luxury that only the rich could afford.

As the word spread of the major benefits of having a personal trainer, many more people jumped on the bandwagon to get fit faster.

Now, getting a personal trainer is considered the normal thing to do.

A similar trend is occurring with dating coaches for men. What was once a taboo thing to talk about or admit, is now becoming very common.

Some of the major reasons that dating coaches are becoming popular:

- Many of us are becoming time-poor and want results faster in our lives.

There is so much to complete and achieve in modern life, in order to be successful. Spending time working out how to find a date often comes second to career, study and spending time with friends.

- Modern women have become more masculine and assertive.

Changes to the behaviour of modern Western women have created a huge shift in the way the modern men behave.

For example: Many modern men behave submissively around women, thus ruining the attraction a woman could feel for him.

- The rules of the dating game are changing faster than ever, so the millions of people who aren't as socially-skilled as the rest, find themselves lagging behind.

Fact: A lot of guys who are extremely intelligent 'academically' often fail or rate poorly in social aptitude tests. Hence the 'geekiness' of most 'genuises.'

Scale it down to guys with above-average intelligence and you get a lot of guys who simply have no idea how to relate with women. In steps a dating coach, showing him the logic of dating, and most of the time he walks away enlightened and cured.

- The release of the book entitled, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick Up Artists, by Neil Strauss.

In his now famous book, Neil Strauss details the rise of the secret seduction community, run by nerds who had turned themselves into super-smooth ladies men.

However, on closer inspection, it's obvious to see that behind all the seduction tricks and special lines, the nerds and their insecurities remained.

The difference between pick up artists and dating coaches, is often that dating coaches work on building confidence and attractive qualities, rather than on using tricks and techniques.

- The high divorce rate places fear in the minds of many

Social analyst David Chalke said dating coaches and life coaches were a symptom of the growing number of single people, especially those aged 25 to 35.

"The divorcee syndrome of people struggling in the dating world has been around for a long time, but increasingly it's found in those who were never married in the first place," he said.

"Men are confused about what women want, especially those who grew up under the full flood of feminism. As long as that confusion lasts there'll always be work for date doctors."

- Men's expectations of women and vice versa

Thanks to movies and the media, our expectations of one another are rising to sometimes unreasonable lengths.

For example: Ask a woman what she wants in a man and she will usually say, "Tall, dark, handsome...and rich would be nice."

Ask a guy what he wants in a woman, "Young, pretty, easy-going, intelligent and down-to-Earth."

Now, match that up with reality and a lot of people are left doubting themselves on the mating market.

I've personally dated a number of attractive women in the last year and found that at least 70% of them rarely get approached in the right way by guys, if at all.

Of all the guys I've coached, most of them don't approach women because they doubt themselves for not being tall, dark and handsome.

However, as we look around in the real world, we all notice that people of all shapes, sizes, races and financial situations are dating and falling in love.

The stereotypical answers that men and women often give are thrown out the window IF they find someone that they can connect with.

That's where a dating coach comes in: They help a person put their best foot forward, and as a result - the client finally begins to receive the attention they deserve.

So, the question remains "Should you get a dating coach to help?"

Well, have a think about this: Professional sportsmen and women continue to receive coaching, even though they are the top of their tree.

Businessmen and women continue to attend training courses and consult with leadership coaches, life coaches and all sorts of coaches.

Why?

Because no one is perfect, but you sure as hell can work at being close!