Should you have Sex on the First Date?

One author wrote If I had a nickel for every women who's asked, "Will sex on the first date ruin everything?" I'd be a well to do finacially woman with a lot of slutty friends.   Sex on the first date is not considered the best road but find out more from bloggers that have experience in the dating and online dating view.

"All I recognize is that I still respect the man in the morning even if he does put out on the first Ocassionally I even fix him breakfast. But I'm not always sure the spirit is reciprocal. She continued.  And this affirmation makes one inquire about the principles of the dating setting and how to behave even if you just contacted each other from an online dating website or have been in a respectable friendship or occasional relationship for a while as Friends."

This probably could come as a shock however oftentimes is something of a double standard in our world today. A concupiscent adult female who is unembarrassed and unremorseful with her sexual appetites often runs into sorrow. Sometimes this represents the outcome of her lover's religious raising, which could ignite the unconscious minds "shame on" button after sex -- even while his understanding wishes to argue it's okay. Sometimes it's due to a more ecumenical "good girls don't" perceptual experience. Sometimes it's due to the fact that your partner's solitary involvement in you to lead off with was sexual and having quenched his curiosity, he's set to move on.

Realize, a lot of men do not necessarily look at sex in the setting of a dedicated relationship.  So their response to your question might be: "Relationship? We don't have a relationship -- we had sex!"   Which makes sense with the dating and relationship scene these days.  It might appear that some online dating sites are just for that: sex.  It really is best for guys to look for secure relationships with a adult female, through smart dating habits.

Sex on the 1st date. This really ain't breaking news here. I mean, there exists really nothing new about this quandary. While obviously I don't acknowledge for certain, I am pretty certain it's been around since the whole concept of going steady got started, wether it existed before the online dating web sites came around or before there was even a social online dating scene.   Earlier times in this century, when dating really got started, it still was a ΓÇÿsocial taboo.

Every dating book that I have ever read, every dating and relationship and advice blog or on-line dating website and online relationship social blog that speaks about sex on the first date enunciates it's a unsound thought. Many guys say it's a risky idea. I would articulate it seems as though the consensus follows that it's a unsound idea.   Espeically when meeting on-line, on the net, throught dating web sites, facebook, myspace or any other techniques that are not through family and acquaintances one requires to take even longer to develop a good man  and woman human relationship to get to know each other.  Then communicating online through electronic mail or on the net you'll then acquire a better thought of what attracted you in the first place if it was through an onlilne dating website.

They allege that sex on the first date wipes out the mystery and that guys like a challenge. There's also that saying no one wishes to buy the whole ice cream truck when you are giving out the popsicles for free. Oh and who wants the whole cow when you are giving the milk away for free is a very familiar story that you  have read about on the social blogs and dating website chat boards when browsing online. I am pretty sure there are dozens more, but you get the idea here. Part of me can buy into this. Though technically if we experience sex on the third or fourth date won't that obliterate the mystery? Plus if you are only into a person because they are mysterious I don't think you're headed for eternal bliss. After all, the mystery does eventually pass right?

I could go on about that, though that is not particularly where I am trying to go with this.

Most women have learned very early on that a woman gives the last say with the entire sex thing. A lot of guys have told me that this is because the woman has more at stake. Which, sure I can agree there. Shes the one that can get pregnant thing.

Though here's what I have to say about that. If you are leaving the decision to me, don't complain about the decision that I make. Let me explain here because I don't mean that a guy is actually complaining. I know he's not calling his friends saying something like "man you won't believe what this chick did last night."

To me, when a guy gives you the go ahead to decide something, that implies that he's fine with whatever decision you make. He's cool if you want to have sex; he's cool if you don't. However, if you aren't going to call me again based solely on the fact that we did it on the first date I would say that makes you pretty not cool with the decision I made.

It's kind of like when a guy asks a woman where she wants to go to eat. She says she doesn't care and he can choose. Then when they get to dinner she complains the entire night about how she didn't want to go to that restaurant. Not cool is it? In fact it's a pretty darn annoying.

Here's the thing about this whole sex thing. Women enjoy it too and we don't always want to be rational about it. Sometimes women get caught up in the moment and just want to do what feels right. Sometimes a woman doesn't want to do things (or not do things) just because that's not what a woman "should" be doing. Sometimes she just wants to be who she is and not worry so much about what a guy will think of her. We don't punish a guy for doing that so why can't we do the same?   She would think.

And I know there are guys out there who legitimately don't buy into how "wrong" sex on the first date is. Though this kind of adds to my whole point here. How are women really supposed to know what a guy is thinking or will think? How are women supposed to know which kind of guy we are dealing with here?

Perhaps if a guy really feels that strongly against having sex on the first date he should speak up (just like the woman that actually cares about where you go to eat). And I know, I know. Guys won't ever turn toss off sex but if you don't address then it's not fair to use it against a adult female, right?

I am well mindful that there exists a double standard, so I kind of feel like I am pounding a dead horse here. All I am expressing is that if you actually care about  your dating companion, getting sex on a first date (and by care I mean it alters the way you feel  about your dating relationship partner) then don't act like you don't care.

As for myself, sex on the 1st date, and probably any, is simply too hazardous.  It is best to wait until marriage.  I don't doubt that there are may of you that  the heartache.