Techniques on picking up women

Have you ever come across someone who you’re really attracted to, whether she’s walking along the street, in a club, at a restaurant, in a train/train station, and you wish to know her? As you stand from a distance and ponder on what you should do, you end up doing NOTHING. And the opportunity to know someone new, is gone.

The question is, why did you not do anything at that point in time?

If you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired of letting such opportunities pass you by, and have decided to do something about it, here are some basic pointers that I think will be helpful. It is one thing to know what to do, and quite another to actually do what you know.

1) Unlearn all that you know

All the preconceived notions and rules of engagement you know about the opposite gender HAS to go. What I used to think was “wrong” or “inappropriate” or “cheesy” have in fact brought me some level of success, while what I held dear to my heart of “right” or “correct” were what often paralysed me and brought me nowhere. Start with a blank canvas, and start filling your canvas with new techniques and rules.

2) Detachment from outcome

When I first started out, rejections from my approaches came fast and furious. Did it hurt? You bet. Did my pride and confidence take a beating? Of course they did.  In fact, it happened with such regularity that I psyched myself up just to crash and burn!

Fact is, with every rejection, I made sure I learnt something from it. I’ve learnt what went wrong, what I could have better done or said, and with every rejection I fine-tuned my approaches (that includes body language, facial expressions, choice of words). Every negative outcome taught me something, while every positive one reinforced what I’ve done right.

3) It is not so much what you say, but how you say it

Sure, there are tons of opening lines you can attempt. Some are original, some are real cheesy, while others will just get you a blank “duh” look if you attempt to use them at inappropriate circumstances.

The point is, I don’t judge and put a label on openers. What is important is that it works. Whatever works, use it.

While all of us can agree that the opener of “Hey, you look familiar.” is the most ancient and non-original opener there is, and using it instantly puts you in the “boring”, “not original”, and “trying to pick me up” category, I think we’re all missing something important here.

If this ancient opener managed to garner the same level of engagement from her as opposed to, say another atypical opener such as “Hey I was wondering if you can help me out on this. You see….”, then to me, both are equally effective openers.

4) 3-second rule

Much has been written about this, so while I’m not going to elaborate on it, I can’t emphasise its importance. The longer you ponder about what to do, what to say, and all the possible what-if outcomes when all the while she’s there, the more nervous, paralysed and disempowered you’ll become. You’ll start to hesitate, feel anxious and less confident. And she knows it.

While you may not necessary fail if you break the 3-second rule by getting off your bum on the 4th second, the point here is not to linger or ponder any longer before all the negative vibes you generate get the better of you.

5) Body Language

This includes your posture, facial expressions (SMILE!), and the distance in which you talk to her. Everyone has got an invisible personal space around them, so give her enough distance so that she doesn’t feel crowded out or that you’re a creep.

While we’re at body language, it doesn’t hurt to practice good personal hygiene too. Bad breath, food stuck between your teeth, body odour, will turn off anyone, no matter how perfect your openers are.

By: Flying Fyn