The 3 Date Rule - When Is Too Soon For Sex?
Someone asked me this question in real life recently. I'm going out with this new guy and I really like him, how long should I wait before having sex with him?
This is all down to biology isn't it?
A man can father an almost unlimited number of children. A woman, 1 (on average) every 9 months or so.
When I ponder this, I think - This could be my daughter who is wondering the same thing. In that case I would say, 'wait until you are married, or at least have a ring on your finger', but sexual mores are what they are. If it was my son asking how long he should wait until he makes his move, I would say, 'why haven't you made it already?'
Here's a true story from years ago...
I met this lovely schoolteacher. She worked at a private school and was extremely pretty in an old fashioned sort of way. She wore long skirts and had the type of long hair you can only get if you never have more than the split-ends removed. She was kind to animals, wanted a family, and I thought she was wonderful.
I was used to less elegant women, so I decided to hold my horses and slow things down. I really could see myself settling down with this lady, with her cottage in the country and outstanding cooking skills.
On our third date she dumped me.
I was on my way home from her cottage and she sent me a text message saying that I obviously had no sexual interest in her and therefore we should call it a day. I was horrified.
Lesson learned!
In a relationship, no matter how brief, it's the woman who decides when the jiggy-jiggy takes place. When that will be is dependent on how much power the woman believes she has over the man. If the guy is smitten, she can wait. If he's aloof, she won't wait. She won't want to lose him, especially if he is not that into her. You see, women are used to men fawning over them like lovesick puppies. When they meet a guy who doesn't pander to her every ridiculous whim, she doesn't know how to act, and will play her final hand very quickly indeed.
My friends, if you are thinking about when to make a move on your new woman, stop thinking and just act Make the move and if it's too soon for her, you'll get the picture. Obviously don't try 5 minutes after meeting her, but you'll learn to gauge the situation after some practice.
Now, here's where we can take back some of the power. If she spurns your initial advances, don't become despondent. She has the upper hand, but it won't last long.
You've made your intentions perfectly clear. Now, you will hold back. You will tease her. You will be suggestive. But you won't keep desperately trying to bed her like a horny teenager. This will make her crazy. Practice until you get the balance right. Very few women will dump you, like I got dumped, for showing no interest as you have made that plain, and she's waiting for you to make another move so she can display her power again. Hold off for a couple of days and she will be pliant putty in your hands. Turn the tables on her, pretend (make it obvious that you're pretending) that YOU won't put out for HER.
Don't let the joke become old though.
Get out there, lose the shyness and start meeting some women.
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