The 6 Dating Traps

As a dating single, you probably hear other singles talking about some of the dating traps that keep them from meeting someone.  When you listen to any of the following, you too will be trapped into thinking that there’s no hope for you.

This is the first reason people give for not dating.  If you believe no one’s out there, you’ve given up before trying.  You have an excuse for not taking responsibility in attracting dates and, unconsciously, you’ve become a “victim” of your age, looks, or circumstances.

Note to readers: There is ALWAYS someone out there to date.  Your job is to break up this myth by going out and meeting people.  You will and can find someone wonderful.

Trap #2: You must compromise.

1. Many people resort to accepting less than they want because they think there is either a scarcity of eligible people, or—they don’t deserve something better!

Note to readers: If you feel you have to settle for someone who is not the person you want, ask yourself how you can improve your single life.  Make yourself so happy, you would never think of compromising your wonderful life.

Trap #3: Thinking you need to look “perfect”.

Someone tells me every day how they can’t start dating until they lose weight, get some plastic surgery, or buy a new wardrobe.  What they think about how they look has become their roadblock to finding a partner.  This trap becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  The more they believe their reasons, the more they stay stuck.

Note to readers: People fall in love— and stay in love—every day, that are your age, weight, or height, wearing all types of apparel.  Nothing has to prevent you from having the relationship you want except you.

Trap #4: Believing you need money and “things”.

I’m sure lots of guys believe their money makes them more attractive to women, and in some cases, that’s true.  However, women who barter their looks and youth for a man of wealth are never going to be fulfilled.  Someday they will want to discover who they are as individuals, or, they will worry about the younger competition.  The men in this arrangement will worry about losing their money, or, that she will find a younger man.  It’s an edgy bargain to say the least.

Note to readers: You don’t need wealth as much as you need to know how to take care of your personal life.  Living BELOW your means doing a job you feel proud of is attractive.  If you are working and SAVING money, you are way ahead of the game.

Trap #5: Believing you’ll be rejected.

This is the most pernicious trap of all.  The old “fear of rejection” theme is rampant in the world.  It causes people to settle; it keeps people locked inside, afraid to go out to meet others; and, it causes people to push others away because they don’t want to get “hurt again.”

Note to readers: How do you stop the fear of rejection from stealing your potential dating life?  You must get out often, with consistency and determination.  You have to be friendly, talk to people, and share who you are.  When you do this, you have choices.  When you have choices, it won’t feel like “rejection” if you don’t hit it off with everyone you meet.

Trap #6 Thinking your baggage will scare others away.

Do you have six children to raise?  Do your invalid grandparents live with you?  Did you have a wild youth, or a tragic accident, or infamous family members?  All of the above—and more—happen to people.  In most cases however, it’s not the baggage from the past that bothers people as much as how you have dealt with it, or currently are dealing with it.  You will be appreciated if you handle your challenges responsibly, admired if you no longer engage in destructive behavior, and, most of all, you will be forgiven if you have unpacked your baggage by working it through with a counselor.

Note to readers: Yes, people do look at your past behavior patterns as a recommendation for your trustworthiness.  However, it is who you have become by learning from your past and who you are now that can make you a treasure to know.

Do you have any other dating traps that keep you from finding love?  Pay attention to your dating fears and do whatever is necessary to face them.  A great date, a great mate, and a great life don’t “just happen”.  You have to take action steps.  You can do it.