Dr. Neder is known around the world as a tough, but fair relationship expert, dealing with all sorts of dating, sex and relationship issues from a man's perspective. Having written 3 books ("Being a Man in a Woman's World™" series) and is working on others, hundreds of articles, been on hundreds of radio and TV shows, he is funny, direct and intuitive. Do you have a burning question that needs an answer? Are you a man that wants to better experiences with women, or a woman that wants to better understand men? To learn more, go to http://beingaman.com.
Hello Dr. Dennis:
I know there are lots of books out on the ‘net claiming that you can get your ex back. Do any of these books really work? What if your ex has moved on and is dating someone else?
I was dumped out of the blue. I knew in my heart that it wouldn’t work out because he is very immature and insecure and he loved to play mind games. That’s not what I really wanted to be dealing with. Part of me is fine that it’s over but the other part misses him even though it could never work out unless he grew up and dealt with his problems (he’s one of those people that believes he has no problem and that it’s always someone else).
So is their a way to get an ex back after all? If my ex has moved on do I still have a chance? Please don’t tell me to move on because I have for the most part. I have heard it all.
=========================
Hello!
Even a broken watch is right twice a day, and yes, many people DO get their ex's back - some from following the advice in some (frankly) excellent books and some on their own. Get this: some even do it by asking ME how! Go figure??!!
The reality is, there are far greater minds out there than mine and I encourage you and everyone to read as much of this writing as possible to improve your own life.
Sometimes people read my stuff and say, "Yeah, I've heard it all before". Others read it and the light bulb goes off and things change for them, for the better. That's pretty cool not because I wrote the book at all but because THEY read it and THEY changed their lives.
Yes, you can get your ex back. The real question you should be asking however is "should you?"
Nature plays this glorious trick on each of us. When we break up with someone, we're angry and hurt and we have this flood of negative emotions. However, over time, we forget all of that pain and only remember the good, happy times. This is the most dangerous thing there is in rekindling any relationship!
The reason is that, if you actually get the relationship back, soon all the old problems come rushing right back because we never fixed them in the first place.
This really IS a situation of being careful what you ask for!
Take a look at your opinion of your ex! Frankly, it's pretty far from flattering! Do you really want that back in your life? Do you really think all that was healthy or in some way beneficial to either of you? I don't.
Yes, even when someone is with someone else, it's entirely possible to get them back in your life as your boy/girlfriend. For the purposes of this message, I'll simplify the steps, (the 6 "R's") because I think that once you really give it some thought, you're going to decide this isn't the best way for you to go:
1) Reconnect. Use some reason or excuse like a holiday, event, birthday or "I was just cleaning out my phone numbers..." to contact this person. Messaging is usually ok, but the telephone is by far better.
2) Remind. Bring up a few memories of when things were good between you. Send a favorite photograph or just recount a story when you and this other person where totally connected, in love and had great, positive energy together.
3) Rekindle. Begin to rebuild those emotional (and especially sexual!) states.
4) Replace. This means both the bad memories of the past (especially the break up itself) and any new person in their lives. You do this by building new memories based on old, cherished ones.
5) Repair. You absolutely have to fix the old problems or you're going to be right back in the shit in no time! The scary part however is that the next break-up is usually far, far worse than the last one! Thus, you have to get things out into the light of day and DEAL WITH THEM. Get them fixed or they'll simply ruin what you've done so far.
6) Rebuild...the relationship itself.
That's what it takes in order to back with your ex. Do you really, really want to? Are you sure???
Best regards...
------------------------------------------------------------------
Have a love, dating, sex or relationship question? You can write to me or get more information about “Being a Man in a Woman’s World tm” by going to: http://BeingAMan.com. Be sure to check out the new BAM! TV at http://BeingAMan.tv. Follow me on Facebook (http://tinyurl.com/cas4w9) and Twitter (http://tinyurl.com/d3pecs).
Copyright (c) 2009, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.
- Related Videos
- Related Articles
- Ask / Related Q&A
- Using John Laney’s 7 Minute Reconnect Method To Help You Get Your Love Back Now
- Letters to Ex-Boyfriends
- Why Can't I Get My Ex Out Of My Head - How To Get Your Ex Back Instead
- Winning Back an Ex Boyfriend - How To Steal Him Back From Another Girl
- How to Get Your Ex Back - Getting Over Him or Her is the First Step to Successful Reconciliation
- The Six “R’s” to Getting your Ex Back
- How to Win Back Your Ex's Heart
- Acceptable Ways to Get Your Ex's Attention
Tips To Remember Before Joining Free Dating Web Sites
By: Alan Lim | 27/11/2009There are various tips a person should keep in mind before joining the free dating web sites to get good results. Some useful tips are outlined here.
Make Up Tips To Make You Irrisistable
By: Darren Blair | 27/11/2009What is ironic is that such “ uniqueness” all boils down to a kind of symmetrical template for what we consider to be beautiful, if were to believe recent scientific studies.
You need to be an Alpha male to learn how to date tons of girls
By: Jon Swinton | 27/11/2009After nearly four years of research, John Alexander, in his book, “How to Become an Alpha Male” uses powerful mind principles based on psychology to draw women magnetically to men. He categorically states that a man does not have to look like a Greek God to have women eating out of his hands. Instead, his ploys and secret techniques will have women chasing after you and wanting to have sex with you.
Successful tips on how to become an alpha male
By: Jon Swinton | 27/11/2009Wooing women can be a daunting task for some men while for others it is child’s play. A male chauvinist uses his attitude to lure women into his arms. Cheesy or suggestive lines that men use to lure women to bed do not always turn on women. In fact, this type of behavior easily puts some of them off. John Alexander, in his book, “How to become an Alpha Male” gives you systematic instructions and guidelines that will result in women drooling all over you as they cannot have enough of you.
Master the Alpha Male system to date more than 20 women a month
By: Jon Swinton | 27/11/2009John Alexander, in his book, “How to Become an Alpha Male”, has perfected and mastered several techniques that uses “underground” principles and “flip on” psychology to get women wanting to sleep with you, by the dozens. Being the “good guy” or flashing your sports car and hefty bank balance is not necessary any more. You do not even have to be built like a rock star. In fact, he categorically claims that his book will help the laziest man to date more than 20 women a month!
If only our parents had taught us how to be an Alpha Male…
By: Jon Swinton | 27/11/2009How to succeed with women has always been a challenge for men throughout history. The Alpha Male system was formulated by a twenty two year old, who decided to draw up a few guidelines using powerful mind principles that were both psychological and hypnotic, in drawing women like bees to honey.
For girls only – does playing hard to get work?
By: Matt Fuller | 27/11/2009It's a contentious issue in dating land…should a girl play hard to get, or should she be the modern women and, so to speak, take the dating bull by the horns?
Asian Dating Superstars Review - Advice for Asian Guys
By: Johnny Cheng | 26/11/2009Quite Possibly One Of The Best Asian-Specific Dating Product Available .... (Read On To Find Out More)
Silently, She Cums
By: Dr. Dennis W. Neder | 28/10/2009 | SexualityOne guy, concerned with his partner's sexual satisfaction consults Dr. Dennis about how to better please her - and what it all means when she can't cum.
Waiting in Line to be 100% Sure
By: Dr. Dennis W. Neder | 14/10/2009 | DatingWhat can a guy do to be 100% sure he's not going to get rejected if he approaches someone he's interested in? How do you find, let alone maximize an opportunity to meet a woman in the first place? Dr. Dennis helps a out a viewer.
A Matter of Height
By: Dr. Dennis W. Neder | 01/10/2009 | DatingHow important is height to dating success? Do all women want tall guys? Is there a "minimum height"? Dr. Dennis helps out a viewer.
Her Gay Friend
By: Dr. Dennis W. Neder | 23/09/2009 | DatingA girl from out of town comes to visit. How does he handle her gay friend? Dr. Dennis gives him some help.
Rebuilding a Sexual Relationship
By: Dr. Dennis W. Neder | 16/09/2009 | SexualityNo doubt that men and women are different sexually. What happens when that difference causes a loss of sexual attraction? Can things be resurrected? Can the relationship be saved? Dr. Dennis helps a guy out.
Facebook Flirting Fail
By: Dr. Dennis W. Neder | 09/09/2009 | DatingA guy misses his chance to meet a great girl at a party, but locates her on Facebook. Can he turn this into something or is he totally lost? Dr. Dennis helps him see the light.
I Need Something That’ll Work – Hurry!
By: Dr. Dennis W. Neder | 26/08/2009 | DatingHow about an approach that REALLY works? A guy needs something special and unique. Dr. Dennis gives him a new tool - and perspective.