What Makes You Dateable?

When singles are looking for someone to date, they often list qualities that are on the surface.  How someone looks, the color of their hair, their age, height and weight, and their interests are about as far as they go when they list their requirements.  Unfortunately, none of those characteristics have any lasting value, nor do they determine whether you will be at all happy.

What most people are looking for is chemistry, which is important, but it can only last as long as you also like and admire each other.  Following that, what makes a date last forever?  It goes way beyond similar interests and chemistry. People fall in love with someone who is:

1. Allowing

The person who does not need to manipulate or control other people, or even all situations, is very attractive—and easy to be around.  When you can be just the way you are and the other person is not always finding fault with you, life is smooth.  When you can allow someone else to have his or her own idiosyncrasies, your life will not be a battle.  Having someone like this in your life gives a partnership balance.

1. Kind

Someone who is kind, generous to others without expecting something in return, and has time for old people, little children, and animals, will be someone you can count on in good times and in bad.  Someone who also knows how to accept gifts and compliments from others shows they are mature enough to have a reciprocal relationship.  Not becoming the victim who does all the giving or the user who expects to be taken care of will keep a partnership on equal ground.

1. Not judgmental

When you are with someone who does not need to gossip, criticize, or judge others unfairly, you are with someone who is at peace with who they are.  This also gives you a person who is peaceful to be around.  Negative people who look at others, or the world in general, with an unforgiving slant will drain your energy and optimism.  Sooner or later, their critical eye will focus on you, which will cause a meltdown.

1. Not seeking conflict

If you are with someone who is always looking for a fight; an altercation; a problem to get riled up about, your life will be the battleground of constant crisis.  These people think this is just “life” and don’t understand that they incite or attract this kind of behavior.  Someone who is thin-skinned and takes most comments as a criticism cause those around them to walk on eggs.  This can make you feel very edgy—and tired.

1. Into the moment

Someone who is not absorbed in the past or constantly worried about the future has the ability to be present in the moment.  Whatever is going on around them is met with a relatively pure reaction.  They are content with life and feel connected to nature.  Someone who stops to admire the sunset, the rain drops on the leaves and grass, and the new blooms on plants or trees is a person who is more likely to be focused on your strengths and positive qualities rather than what’s “wrong” with you.

1. Appreciative of life

When you meet someone who appreciates all the good things in their life rather than complains about what they don’t have, you are going to receive great benefits.  Being around this type of person brings out the sun.  Their perspective also helps any negative people who are around them to shift their hopeless outlook.

1. Comfortable in their own skin

If your date is trying to be an imitation of anyone, you don’t really know who you’re out with—and they don’t know who you’re out with either.  It’s difficult to relate to someone who isn’t really there.  Someone who is comfortable about where they’re from, what they do, and what they’ve accomplished is a confident person.  They don’t brag or boast about their accomplishments nor do they try to hide them if the topic somehow comes up in conversation.  A person who is comfortable being who they are is just easy to be with.  They have lost interest in judging, evaluating, and analyzing themselves…as well as others.

1. Laughs easily

When people can laugh at themselves, everyone can relax.  Furthermore—everyone loves to be around them.  Humor lightens up any situation.  I once met a woman at a wedding reception.  As we chatted, she told me she was having a problem with her dog.  It seems that whenever someone came to the house and rang her doorbell, the dog got confused, started barking—and bit her. People with a sense of humor are not only lovable—they’re memorable.

These are the qualities that will draw people to you, and that you want in another.  They not only make you dateable, they make you someone others want to be around—forever.