What the Chat ?

Chat, chat and more chat - your mum chats, your sisters chat, your work friends chat, people at the shops, at the bus stop, on the train, at the beach - chat, chat, all the time.  It often seems like everyone throughout Australia knows how to chat but you! 

Conversation may come easy to others but chatting is a skill that can also be taught. To become accomplished at dating or online dating, you need to exchange at a minimum the basics of your life. Our online dating guide will assist you to chat like any confident person you know.

Top ten dating and chat tips for singles:

1. Practice
Practice makes perfect!  Think of short subjects that you are able to chat about with ease and try practicing some chat on people at locations you  visit in your everyday routine.  Practice chatting in various circumstances - on the telephone, face to face, for business or socially.  Remember, don't forget the various online chat rooms - some great free online dating sites offer unrestricted free chat rooms where you can practice for as long as you need to. Also its important to practice on many types of people - men, women? - are there particular groups that make you nervous?  Be sure that you practice some chat on this group the most, it will only be a matter of time before your insecurities ease, they are only human too.

2. Confidence
Confidence has been noted by many researchers to be the most attractive quality in singles and people in general. You will see that a confident person seems to chat easily, and without effort.  It might surprise you to know that most of these people are often self conscious and feel nervous although by not showing it they appear to be informative and interesting

3. Experiment
Experiment with several topics, using different people and various punch lines.  It may be worthwhile spending a day or two observing the way others talk to you, how they begin conversations and chat with each other. Learn from this. You will notice, conversations often follow a set routine - this routine can be learned by you enabling you to chat with ease.

4. Respond
Certainly good conversation and chat topics are not always about what you have to say. This could mean two or more people EXCHANGING thoughts or ideas.  Therefore it is important that you pay attention to the other person's chat and respond appropriately. Interested listeners are often considered by the opposite gender to be the best conversationalists!

5. Fillers
Hate certain pauses when the chat just seems to come to a halt and all that's left is silence!  Very confident chatsters have in their repertoire a plan B "fillers" - small conversation pieces designed to suit these moments.  Sometimes however, companionable silence is often desired - the secret is in knowing when the pause is simply a natural break in the flow and if something  needs to be said at all.  So how do singles or people in general learn this often complex of chat rules?  This is a difficult one, possibly the best way is to observe other people's body language, are they relaxed?, slightly smiling? with relaxed posture?  Then they are probably content to be silent at this point in time.

6. Smile!
When you chat, try to to smile.  Not, of course as an insane Cheshire cat but appear upbeat, cheerful, general demeanour.  Happy, responsive, interested to chat is a certain way to pave the way for flowing conversations.

7. Don't mumble
If you chat face to face, it is critical to make eye contact and don't mumble.  Clues that you are chatting to the ground are when the other person asks you keep repeating yourself and seemingly has lost interest in the conversation.  Its is difficult to keep a conversation that you can't hear going and ultimately people will move on to a topic less arduous.

8. Body Language
An important way to present yourself is important, even if you have made a conscious decision to make yourself seem relaxed, it is certainly worth the effort.  Start by relaxing your shoulders, drop your shoulders and take a deep breath.  Check your hands are not clenched also check you do not fold your arms. Check out our online dating and chat article for body language to learn out more about how you can improve your body language to appear friendly and approachable.

Always show good manners, compliment something about the other person and don't oggle them - there is nothing a woman dislikes more than a man who cant take his eyes of her chest. Equally, men also can be made to feel uneasy if studied like a labro laboratory specimen.

9. Slow things Down
Try not to rush and let your words race towards your lips then burst out like a tidal wave.  Ponder what you have to say and prepare yourself before starting to chat to make certain that your nervousness wont make your words all flow together.

10.  Be prepared
Its always a good idea to read the day's news and keep up to date with the latest goings on in the world to prepare subjects that you can easily chat about when you first meet.  You may love your v8 motor car or latest card making project however it is likely that members of the opposite gender will not find those topics all that interesting.  Until you become more familiar each other, begin your chat with general topics and then gradually you will start knowing  each other and have better ideas of what the other person is interested in.

Final chat tips…
Become confident and less hesitant.  Try not to be too timid, be polite and upbeat.  Take a deep breath and remember other people will be as nervous as you are.  Chat should be a happy experience so just let yourself go with the flow!

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