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Why Can't you Get Who you Want?
Author: Tonja Weimer  | Posted: 31-01-2008 | Comments: 1 | Views: 39 | Rating: (104) (?)
 Do the ones you want to date avoid you? If you get a date, do they drop you? Why can't you get who you want?
There are several reasons you may be turning people off. Until you identify and change certain behaviors that most people want to stay away from, you will keep getting the same results. Take a look at the following:
· NEGATIVITY
Nothing turns prospective daters away faster than a complaining, blaming, whining single. No one wants to listen to how your dog bit you, or your kids let the snake loose in your bedroom, or the line was so long at the store, your ice cream melted. You may unconsciously be looking for comfort or validation, but you have to find the positive side of life in order to attract people.
· INSECURITY
Insecurity shows up as a lack of confidence. You might as well wear the Jolly Green Giant costume if you are looking for ineffective ways to meet people. Confidence is quiet. A lack of confidence screams.
· DESPERATION
Desperation comes from fear of being alone. Until you conquer this fear, you will be like a fire-breathing dragon, incinerating every potential relationship that comes along. You may feel like you are running towards love as fast as you can, but, in fact, you are trying to run away from whatever you think is chasing you.
· DRAMA
All of the above feelings may cause you to live your life like a bad soap opera. You may cry, scream, throw things, or flirt with other people to spite your partner. You may sit and nurse your emotional wounds with a poor-me attitude, or, simply clam up and refuse to talk. Acting out is a way of life for you. You want attention, importance, unconditional love, and loyalty, but you don't know how to give it to yourself, so you don't know how to get it from others.
When you walk around with the above emotions, how do they play out in a relationship?
First, when you are a couple, you probably have more than your fair share of fights...and, a lot of drama. When you harbor any of the above, you probably pick on the person you are with.
Second, if you are desperate, you are probably jealous and accusing. You may be easily threatened by others and start to imagine that your partner is being unfaithful to you.
And third, when you are trying to date and meet someone, and you are attached to the outcome before you even know the person well, this is not flattering. People do not want to feel like they are your life raft, and that you want to marry just ANYONE. Everyone wants and deserves to be special.
Remind yourself every day of what you can do for you. Set up an action plan and get busy. Become the special person you are looking for. When you do that...you CAN get who you want.
Do you want to know more secrets about how to attract men? Do you know how to dress, what to say, what to do, and the body language to use when you go out? Do you know the 5 steps to take to meet any guy anywhere? Read on to discover all the secrets to having all the dates you want in http://www.singlesdatingtips.com/Ebook_link.html\">How To Attract Men: Secrets Every Woman Should Know
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Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/why-cant-you-get-who-you-want-320594.html
About the Author:Visit http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single's coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)
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Got a Question? Ask.
Ask the community a question about this article:
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I do? Please help, I don't want my heart broken.
By: lOvePiNk21 | 10-07-2008
Me and my boyfriend were going out since junior year in high school. He is my high school sweetheart. Now that we have graduated we are going to different colleges. I am kind of scared because many people told me it wont last because we are going to meet knew people and move on. How do I know if me and him are going to stay together or not? Or at least should we split up? What is better to do, I don't know.
So theres this guy
By: M!CHE | 10-07-2008
there is this guy on my train who i find attractive and lately my curiosity has been driving me wild. i see him a couple times a week but we've never spoken. he may be interested but im not sure...i've thought about starting a conversation with him but he wears his ipod for the entire ride is that a don't talk to me signal? i don't know what to do
This guy that i recently met keeps telling me that ...
By: Beautiful_Princess | 10-07-2008
This guy that i recently met keeps telling me that he wants to meet my family but we aren't even dating... He told me no relationship and he just wanted sex... is he saying this just to get in my pants??
Am I getting mixed up with a player?
By: Beautiful_Princess | 10-07-2008
I met this guy about a month ago... and we hit it off. I thought that it might go somewhere... but all he wants is sex. I don't know if I am ready for that... I am 18 years old and still hold my big V. He told me that he does not want a relationship and that he just wants to be "friends with benefits". My sister... and sister in law have told me to wait.. and to not do anything. But I feel that if I don't wait then it may lead to something better... like a relationship. I don't know if I got myself hooked on a player, and whether I should keep talking to him or not. He does not live around me... when I go to college he will be closer and he said that he would be visiting me more. I really like this guy and don't know what to do...
Getting weak.
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Hello i am Steve and i will be glad to know more about you so that i can stay in touch with you and see where will future will lead us to ..
Steve