Why Is She Ignoring Me? - What Did I Do This Time?
Maybe it isn't the first time she's given you the silent treatment? You send her a text, and wait. Sure enough, you get no reply, and you're not surprised. The two of you had what you thought was an insignificant disagreement and now, once again, she is ignoring you. But, why? At first, it may be easy to simply dismiss her ignoring you as childish and immature behavior, and in many ways, it is. However, there may be more to it than meets the eye.
I don't have to tell you how upsetting being ignored by someone you care about can be. You know that feeling of uncertainty and confusion all too well, as you wonder to yourself "what did I do?" Even if something happened just prior to your being given the silent treatment, such as an explosive argument, it can be difficult to rest your mind since you have no sure way of knowing where the relationship between you and your girlfriend stands at this point. After all, they won't even speak to you let alone tell you what's wrong.
So, what could she be up to, besides being an immature brat, of course? Well, unfortunately, some women (and guys) use ignoring as a way to control their partner. Put simply, you do something they don't like, and instead of letting you know it directly or discussing the problem with you in a mature fashion, they resort to the silent treatment in order to "punish" you for your behavior. The problem is, it often works. You end up apologizing for whatever you've "done," even if you still feel you've done nothing wrong in the first place.
More importantly however, when she ignores you as a means of controlling you, and your give in to it, she learns that it works. She soon realizes that in order to get whatever she wants, all she has to do is zip her lips and avoid you for awhile, and you'll cave in under her unwieldy "powers" of persuasion. Well, I can tell you, not only is this immature behavior, it is both disrespectful towards you and damaging to your relationship in the long run.
You see, sooner or later, you'll catch on to her ways. By then, if you aren't already fed up with the silent treatment every time you utter a word or do something that she doesn't like, then you may learn to simply dismiss her behavior, ignoring her in return. Either way, the problem is that none of the real problems come any closer to being resolved. The two of you drift further and further apart as unresolved issues continue to mount, growing more and more weary of one another's same old "games." You may even develop a sense that you are constantly "walking on egg shells."
When one partner ignores the other as a means of controlling them, the result is a toxic relationship that often results in failure. Eventually, you will get tired of her childish behavior and decide it is best to move on. That is, if you wise up to her objectives.
On the other hand, it is possible that you can end her childish pursuit to getting her way if you are able to be strong and show her that ignoring you does not give her the result she was hoping for. Show her that it doesn't bother you, or at least make her believe that it doesn't, that you can go on with your day as though nothing is out of the ordinary. It is generally easiest if you never "teach" her how effective her ignoring can be for getting what she wants in the first place by avoiding giving in the first time she resorts to such behavior. However, you can go a long way towards breaking her habit with just a little effort in the right proportions.
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