Online dating is hot. People are finding out that meeting someone online is not only very doable but can be especially gratifying. .
But (there's always one of those) internet dating can sometimes produce less than positive results. For many people it's when expectations meet reality.
For instance a guy who thinks he's found the right girl. He replies on her profile and suddenly they start communicating on a very regular basis.
The chemistry they've built up through exchanging messages and talking on the phone blossoms. Now he considers the possibility of having more than an online relationship with the girl. He decides it's time to set up their first real date.
And then it happens. They meet for first time over lunch and it's a disaster. The girl appears to be somewhat different than what the guy had expected or recalled. But worse of all, the cheerful chemistry and lively conversation they had built up abruptly vanished. The date came to an end and even though the girl said that she had a nice time and enjoyed herself the problem is still there. The guy does not know what to say.
This is not uncommon in the world of online dating. There are many cases where two people just don't click when they meet in person.
A lot of people who are involved in online dating usually ask why such things happen. They find it hard to believe that the person they have learned to like (and love) online is entirely different when in person.
So they try to assess themselves what went wrong. Is it their point of view that has changed? Were they deceived by the other person? Or was it just wrong from the very start?
The problem with most people is they fail to keep in mind that when they communicate to their dates online, they are really communicating, not with a person but with a series of texts. This is because any answers can always be fabricated or the other person can always deceive his or her date.
When this happens, personal meetings often end up like the one mentioned above. This is because reality is entirely different from what the computer screen illustrates.
Nevertheless, in real life, you've got to know how to exit from the situation without having to hurt the other person's feelings.
1. It would be better not to delve on the issue about not having the right chemistry in the first place, or point out the reason why an individual cannot pursue the dating any longer.
In order to break things up easily, don't focus on the issue of not getting the expectations one had started to build before you met in person. Don't excuse yourself on the grounds that your date is not good-looking enough, or be hurtful in any way.
2. Explain the importance of finding each other's right mate in order to build a happy relationship.
An individual should at least try to make an extra effort on explaining how chemistry works with two people and that lack of such value could be detrimental in one's relationship.
3. Excuses will only make it worse.
Rejection should be done in such a way that the other person will not be hurt. That's going to be tough enough without you making dreadful excuses the other person will sense immediately
4. Be firm in your decisions.
If you start to tell the other person that you think the relationship will not work, but then go all wishy washy, you will only make the matter worse and generate negative feelings.
5. It is usually best to allow your date to express their sentiments and ask questions then answer the questions as honestly as possible.
When a person gets disappointed after meeting his or her online date in person, it would be better to set things straight at once and put an end on the situation before it gets out of hand.
Try and understand how your date is feeling and be kind to them, even though you are about to end the relationship. Remember if you were in their place, you would want your date to be kind to you.
Got a Question? Ask.
Ask the community a question about this article:
Frequently Asked Questions
Should I ask her?
By: Ryan | 11-07-2008
So yeah, I guess on our end of the year field trip to Lake Compounce in Groton Connecticut on 8th Grade I just then started hanging out with this really nice girl from my school same class named Cali. We REALLY got along together during our whole time there so, you know I started liking her but I wasnt sure if she liked me back. so I asked her friend if she did like me and stuff and she said she liked me during that day at Lake Compounce. but its summer now and shes only gonna be down in groton for 9th grade , because she is navy and all so she has to move around places. but do you think i should ask her out during highschool? i still get to see her but not as often because she lives in a navy housing place which is way far from where i live, probably a couple of miles or 3. so what do you think? her friend recently told me that she still likes me a little
What should I do? Please help, I don't want my heart broken.
By: lOvePiNk21 | 10-07-2008
Me and my boyfriend were going out since junior year in high school. He is my high school sweetheart. Now that we have graduated we are going to different colleges. I am kind of scared because many people told me it wont last because we are going to meet knew people and move on. How do I know if me and him are going to stay together or not? Or at least should we split up? What is better to do, I don't know.
So theres this guy
By: M!CHE | 10-07-2008
there is this guy on my train who i find attractive and lately my curiosity has been driving me wild. i see him a couple times a week but we've never spoken. he may be interested but im not sure...i've thought about starting a conversation with him but he wears his ipod for the entire ride is that a don't talk to me signal? i don't know what to do
Just tired of be told that iam doing something iam not
By: tinkslink | 10-07-2008
when your man asks you if your having sex with someone else.i do mean asks all the time.you know that you have not given him a reson too even think that
To say i love u
By: innocent | 10-07-2008
well i have this guy that i'm dating for 4 months now about to be 5 months and he just told me that he loves me and i thought that was so sweet,but then i guess he was waiting for me to say it back,but i couldn't and now he's mad at me and i don't know wat to do i think i love him but i'm not sure yet and i think if i don't say it soon we might break up so should i just say i love you to keep my boyfriend???? can someone please help me
How do I know his the one?
By: juju | 09-07-2008
My boyfriend and I hve 9 months together. How do I know his the one?
Q&A Powered by:
Latest Dating Articles
How to Argue Fairly - Part 2
By: Peter Harris | 26/07/2008
Learning how to argue fairly can be very beneficial to the longevity of your relationship. Because arguements are often fueled by intense emotions it is wise to adhere to specific guidelines when arguing so you can avoid anything that will cause irreparable damage in the relationship. Here are further guidelines on how to argue fairly.
How to Argue Fairly - Part 1
By: Peter Harris | 26/07/2008
Learning how to argue fairly can be very beneficial to the longevity of your relationship. Because arguements are often fueled by intense emotions it is wise to adhere to specific guidelines when arguing so you can avoid anything that will cause irreparable damage in the relationship. Here are some guidelines on how to argue fairly.
How to Argue Your Point
By: Peter Harris | 26/07/2008
Most of us are never taught how to argue your point effectively so we can reach a productive outcome. Often times we argue in a destructive manner and don't resovle our conflicts because of it. Until you discover how to argue your point effectively you can cause significant damage to your relationships, both business and personal. Here are some guidelines on how to argue your point.
What Do Couples Argue About?
By: Peter Harris | 26/07/2008
Anyone in a relationship will argue with their partners. It is inevitable. Did you ever wonder what do other couples argue about? Likely they are arguing about the same things that you and your partner argue about. Arguing is normal and it shouldn't be avoided. It really can be used to help bring forth issues and concerns that couples have so they can learn more about each other and bring themselves closer together. So what do couples argue about?
Top Five Things to Say to a Girlfriend After an Argument
By: Peter Harris | 26/07/2008
Avoiding arguments is probably not healthy and sooner or later one of you will explode. Arguing in this manner is usually counterproductive in that it becomes much harder to control your emotions and to reach a resolution. What you say to a girlfriend after an argument can determine how successful you will be in making up with her.
How Can I Stop Arguing With My Girlfriend?
By: Peter Harris | 26/07/2008
Any relationship between a man and a woman will involve arguing. It cannot be avoided. If the arguing becomes more and more frequent then you may find yourself asking the question "how can I stop arguing with my girlfriend?" Listed are some helpful tips that can help put a solution in perspective for you.
Free Dating Ideas for Singles - Singles Chat and Online Dating Tips
By: Mr Online Dating | 26/07/2008
There is an avalanche of online dating services now days. Singles have thousands of profiles to select from. Meeting singles now becomes a numbers game, perhaps a law of averages increasing our chances of finding love.
Get The Most Out Of Your Gay Online Dating Service
By: Jennifer King | 26/07/2008
Meet more gay singles online with these tips. Gain an advantage over your competition.
Relationships 
