When A Loved One Suffers From Depression
Depression is a very real issue for many people, an irrational yet very genuine feeling of hopelessness and overall despair. Many times it feels like a hole from which there is no escape, and depression can turn even the most routine daily activities into major chores.
As bad as it is for the person suffering from depression, it can in many ways be just as bad for the spouse or loved one of that person. Studies have shown that couples with one spouse that is depressed are nine times more likely to divorce. In a nation where the divorce rate is already well over 50%, that is a considerable figure.
One of the main reasons for stress brought into a marriage as the result of depression is that inevitably, the bulk of the household chores end up falling to the non-depressed spouse. If the husband is chronically depressed, the wife may find herself having to take up much of the slack. This can naturally breed resentment and bitter feelings on the part of the spouse who is overworked.
By the same token, just living with a depressed person can take a toll. None of us particularly enjoy being around negative people, so living with someone who is in such a state pretty much all the time guarantees hard feelings no matter how hard the other spouse tries to deal with and or how noble their intentions may be. When depression strikes, everyone in the household is affected.
There is also the theory that depression can become contagious, simply as the result of living with a depressed spouse for so long. Like any major illness, depression can spill over and begin affecting anyone living in the same house for extended periods.
Depression makes itself apparent in virtually every aspect of one's life, from attitudes, general life outlook, tone of voice, posture, personal hygiene, spiritual life, etc.
So how do you deal with a depressed spouse without allowing it to drag you in as well?
Don't wait for the problem to become major. Allowing your spouse to hit rock bottom puts them at serious risk for suicide attempts. Recognize the warning signs and offer help early on to prevent a small problem from becoming a big one. Learn the pattern behaviors that accompany depression, and let them know that you are there for them and want to help them.
Be gentle but firm. Tell them that they have a problem but do not do it in an accusing or judgmental way. Recognize depression for what it is, a very real but treatable condition that the person suffering from genuinely cannot help.
Recognize that the odds favor improvement. Over 90% of depression cases are treatable, either through medication, counseling, or a combination of the two.
Get an education. Learn all you can about depression. Knowledge is power and the more you learn about this intruder into your relationship, the better equipped you will be to combat it.
Admit to yourself and your spouse that you cannot cure their depression. You're not qualified, trained, or experienced in these matters to do so. The best you can do is to be there for them, remind them that you love them, that they are worth living for, and that their life ha intrinsic value. You'd be surprised at just how far a supportive spouse can take somebody who is suffering.
Find support for YOU. Living in this situation is not easy. You need to have a support structure in place to take care of you, someone to fall back on when you need to talk, unwind, or unload. Of course the ideal person would be somebody else who has experienced what you are going through, but any good friend or family member will also be a good choice. You will need this support, this listening ear, from time to time.
Understand that while depression can wreck your marriage, you need to work on the depression first. Trying to heal your marriage while your spouse is still bogged down in their emotional state is much like stumbling into quicksand, then trying to cheer yourself up by eating a few arsenic laced brownies. It won't work. Help your spouse deal with what they are facing first, then you can begin to repair the damage inflicted.
Depression isn't easy for anybody involved. Educate yourself, get help for your spouse and yourself, then go forward and live well.
Questions and Answers
Article Tags:
depression
,depressed
,teen
,teenager
,withdrawal
,sadness
,worthlessness
,anger
,hostility
Depression affects teenagers as much as adults, but far fewer teens seek treatment for it. Learn what signs to look for in your teenager...
Depression can be really serious and even destroy the essence of a teenager’s overall personality. This ultimately results in a sense of despair, sadness and anger. Early treatment and expert professional advice will help you in combating this problem. Here are certain symptoms you need to watch for in order to identify depression in a teenager.
Teen depression is very common nowadays. The reason is that teens have to face a series of problems such as difficulty in studies, abusive relationships, and problems in relationships, tiff with parents and family due to generation gap and more.
Depression in teenagers is a big problem that will affect all aspects of a teenager's life. If not treated, it could affect problems not only at home and at school, but it could also lead to other issues such as drug abuse, self-hatred, and even suicide. Parents, guardians, teachers, friends, and loved ones could start to learn about depression and what it looks like in teenagers.
Do you know the difference between sadness and teen depression? There are distinct signs and outcomes that provide clues. Discover what can result if your teen's depression goes untreated.
A fast way to get gout relief is with baking soda which I've found it to be very effective. But now that I have gotten my uric acid levels under control I don't need to use this home remedy anymore.
Gout was once the 'disease of kings' due to their diet, but not any more. Anybody can have gout nowadays. Easy access to relatively cheap, mass-produced food and alcohol has meant that we are all at the mercy of gout through our diet.
We need to keep our omega 6 foods at a minimum and include more omega 3 into our diets. Adding food items such as walnuts, chia seeds, to our salads is a simple and natural way to get our omega.
Most children demonstrate some impulsive/hyperactive behavior or have difficulty remaining on-task. Although typically found in boys, in 3-7% percent of children the inattentive, hyperactive, and/or impulsive behavior is recognized by clinician as being a significant problem that is not typical of normal development.
Tomas, a 34 year of carpenter, went to see his girl friend of six months at the end of a hard day. Noticing a strange car in the driveway, he peered into her window with some curiosity. He saw her having sexual relations with another man. Enraged, Tomas went home and returned with his shotgun.
If there is anything that has been established beyond all reasonable doubt over the course of writing this blog, it is that mold is the single most common and most dangerous side effect of water damage.
It takes less than an inch of water to cause serious damage to the carpeting in your home. Not only is the carpet itself soaked, but the padding beneath is ruined, and the flooring and drywall may also end up warping or cracking. Basically, it makes for a lot of problems.
With any sort of water damage, be it a pitcher of tea overturned in your living room or the pipes bursting in the upstairs bath, the overriding goal is still the same, to remove the excess water and dry everything out promptly to insure against further problems such as staining, rotting, smelling, or at the very worst, mold and mildew.
In the fading wake of Hurricane Irene and Tropical Storm Lee, more and more property owners are waking up to some fairly unpleasant news, namely that they are not in fact covered for such a disaster by their homeowners' insurance policy.
Suffering with flooding in your home is something that nobody wants to have to experience, and trying to cope and recover what is possible from such flooding is something that everyone will want to do.
Discuss this Article
