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Child Custody Strategies - Remember The Children'S Rights

When a couple is divorcing, there so many issues that arise and need to be resolved: division of asset, household belongings and other property, financial settlements, shared business assets, vacation property, retirement accounts, non-financial compensation, and more. It's confusing and overwhelming. Yet, when that couple has children, there is one concern that inevitably stands out in importance over all the others... the question of custody of the children.

When parents are involved in a custody battle, they are usually focused on protecting their own individual rights. In other words, mothers are concerned about protecting their rights as mothers; fathers get focused on ensuring that they maintain their rights as fathers. However, often lost in the middle of all the motions, briefs, opinions, and petitions, is the fact that, in each and every state, when it comes to custody and visitation, the children have their own set of rights.
 
The judicial system in each state considers numerous factors in arriving at a final child custody arrangement. And while the opinions and desires of an older child generally carry more influence than those of a younger one, the following list of rights is generally upheld for children of all ages.

  • The right to a continuing relationship with both parents.
  • The right to be treated, not as a piece of property, but as a human being having unique feelings, ideas and desires.
  • The right to continuing care and proper guidance from each parent.
  • The right to have his views and opinions of one parent not be unduly influenced by the other parent.
  • The right to express love, friendship, and respect for both parents, and the freedom from having to hide those feelings or emotions.
  • The right to know the impending divorce was in no way caused by any actions of the child.
  • The right not to be the subject and/or source of arguments.
  • The right to continuing, honest information regarding the divorce process.
  • The right to maintain regular contact with both parents, and the right to a clear explanation for any changes or cancellations of plans.
  • The right to enjoy a pleasurable relationship with both parents; the right never to be used as a manipulative or bargaining tool.

 

Parents who can study, understand, support, and enforce these rights on behalf of their children will reap immeasurable rewards in their relationship with their kids. Parents who ignore and repeatedly violate these rights run the risk of damaging their relationship, credibility, and their children themselves beyond repair.
 
Please parents, do your best to rise above the differences you have with your ex-spouse, and keep the rights of your children in mind when dealing with custody issues.

Kiki Anderson

Kiki Anderson has been counseling couples, families, and children for more than 20 years. She has seen the anguish and heartbreak of divorcing families, and is passionate about equipping families, and especially children, with the best strategies available. For more child custody strategies visit Kiki's web site at http://www.best-custody-strategies.com/

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