Paul Banas
The thought of what has happened interrupts you seven times a day. You have lost everything you helped build, all sense of love and belonging in the world. The crisis has left in its wake the disorganization of your instincts and ideas.
Every divorced dad has to carry his own grief and try to begin a new life again in the world. Remember that you are still a father. Taking care of your children during this crisis is your first priority. It’s the only way to break the inertia. It’s the only way to get back in control of your life, take responsibility and start fixing that broken heart, that broken home.
It is time to get help:
• Along with the correct legal advice, consider seeing a family therapist or psychologist.
• Coping isn’t easy. Feelings of rage and vindication can overwhelm you at this time. Be aware that these feelings are normal, but acting on them is not.
• You need to talk it out—with friends, a support group or with a therapist. Newly divorced dads often find this helpful to regain a sense of control over their situation.
• Remember that it takes time to get back to what will pass for “normal,” given your new situation. Set realistic expectations for how long it will take to get back on track.
It takes a lot of sanity to make the right decision when it comes to deciding the fate of your fatherhood after divorce. That is exactly what is at stake in the situation.
Knowing your rights as a father is the first positive step towards understanding your legal position. Once you have familiarized yourself with the legal basics, you can decide on the individual merits of your case with the help of your lawyer:
• If you feel the divorce is “not your fault” or if your spouse is an incompetent parent, you may choose to sue for sole custody. However, this may involve unnecessary separations and prolonged battles with your family, and resulting alienation and resentment among your children.
• You may decide to negotiate for joint custody and generous visitation rights—decisions which go a long way in repairing the damage of divorce and gives time to everyone to deal rationally with each other.
You may find that a commitment towards creating conditions for a stable environment for your children is more important than taking revenge on your spouse for the divorce.
Find features advice from divorced dads on parenting, baby care, adoption, newborn baby, on raising kids and teens.
- Related Videos
- Related Articles
- Ask / Related Q&A
- Scholarships 4 Dads - Single Dad Scholarships
- How To Approach Women - Dating and the Single Dad
- Best Bets in the Bookstore and Beyond for Single Dads
- Scholarships For Single Dads - Get $10,000 for School
- Single Dads on TV
- Scholarships For Dads - Scholarships For Single Dads
- Scholarships For Single Dads - Scholarships 4 Dads
- Single Dad Scholarships - Scholarships For Dads
The Greatest Investment Ever – Yourself
By: Vanaja Ghose | 01/01/2010Nowadays, the value of a person is often measured by his financial net worth. Thus, when thinking about assets, the first thing that comes to mind is one’s material possessions that can be measured in monetary terms. Think houses, investment portfolio, consumer electronic appliances and gadgets, bank accounts and jewelry, to name a few.
Just a Few of the Dirty Divorce Tricks Divorcing Spouses Will Pull on Each Other
By: Monica Fenster | 01/01/2010From having an affair to serving fake divorce papers, there are many ways spouses will try to make each other's lives more miserable. Don't fall victim to one of these dirty divorce tricks - read on and arm yourself with awareness!
Just a Few of the Dirty Divorce Tricks Divorcing Spouses Will Pull on Each Other
By: Monica Fenster | 01/01/2010From having an affair to serving fake divorce papers, there are many ways spouses will try to make each other's lives more miserable. Don't fall victim to one of these dirty divorce tricks - read on and arm yourself with awareness!
I need help Guysgirls please major.Exboyfriend problem
By: maria | 01/01/2010I've found that a lot of people, ending relationships are the worst of all experiences. You normally you can not sleep, eat, rest and relax because every time you look at something, it reminds you of your past lover. To get over an ex is ne'er simple for many people. It takes purpose and self-will to overpower your emotions and live through it each day. If you want to know how to get over an ex, then this article will certainly assist you to focus on progressing with your life.
Will having sex with someone else help me get over him
By: maria | 01/01/2010I've found that a lot of individuals, breakups are the worst of all nightmares. Usually you can not catch some Z's, eat, rest and relax because when you look at something, it triggers memories of your past lover. To get over an ex is never simple for most individuals. It takes determination and willpower to overtake your emotions and live over it each day. If you want to know how to get over an ex, then this report will for sure help you to stress on moving on with your life.
How Do I Get Over My Ex When You Had It
By: Naomi | 01/01/2010May be you were going out for a couple of years, in a long relationship or marital, breaking up is challenging to do. The good news is that life does get better. Eventually, you will be confident to get off of your robe without going in crying. Few individuals know exactly how you look right now. Read their tips on getting over him and coming along with your life.
I still love my ex but she has a new boyfriend
By: maria | 01/01/2010I've found that many people, ending relationships are the worst of all nightmares. You normally you can not catch some Z's, eat, rest and relax because when you look at something, it reminds you of your ex. To get over your ex is never easy for most people. It needs decision and willpower to overcome your emotions and live through it every day. If you need to know how to get over an ex, then this information will for sure service you to stress on moving on with your life.
How Can I Mend My Broken Heart
By: Naomi | 01/01/2010May be you were dating for a few months, in a long relationship or married, breaking up is painful to do. The good news is that life does get better. Finally, you will be confident to exit of your gown without breaking down in tears. Few know exactly how you feel right now. Read their tips on getting over him and coming along with your life.
Traveling with baby
By: Paul Banas | 27/07/2009 | BabiesIf you and spouse, love to travel, there is no reason why you have to stop traveling with the arrival of baby. The packing for the kids when traveling will need some fore thinking. But if you know the basics, you can pack sensibly and travel happily even with kids.
Sleeping with your baby
By: Paul Banas | 22/07/2009 | BabiesMost importantly for dads about co-sleeping that it keeps mom close to baby for middle-of-the-night feedings.
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome(SIDS)
By: Paul Banas | 21/07/2009 | BabiesSudden Infant Death syndrome (SIDS) is defined as the sudden, unexplained death of an infant, and is the one of the main causes of death among infants between a month and a year. SIDS is said to occur only when no possible explanation can be found
Traveling with your baby
By: Paul Banas | 17/07/2009 | BabiesParenting Advice for Dads - Traveling with Babies
Web-Interactive Plush That Allows Kids to Create a Virtual Aquarium
By: Paul Banas | 16/07/2009 | BabiesPut away your snorkel and flippers, your fish tank and filter and get ready for the ultimate virtual underwater experience.
Traveling with a Baby on a Plane
By: Paul Banas | 15/07/2009 | BabiesBabies under two years still travel free on the lap, though there are rumors that this perk may soon be coming to an end
Dads and kids: Making paper doll chains
By: Paul Banas | 14/07/2009 | FatheringMaking a paper doll chain is a perfect activity for dads and children on a sleepy afternoon.
Travel Tips for Dads with Babies
By: Paul Banas | 13/07/2009 | BabiesSummer is here and time is right for dancing in the streets. Well, maybe not, if you have little kids under your supervision.