The Blue Emotions of Divorce

When we hear or see the word BLUES we often think of music, a storytelling music usually about life and the trials of relationships. People experiencing a divorce or relationship break up are experience the blues, post marital blues.

The letdown following the buildup, the excitement and joy of an anticipated event that ends in a disappointing or unanticipated way. The ending which leaves most with a myriad of feelings, they often don't know how to address.

Frustration, fear, anger, confusion, pain, betrayal, guilt and even shame are emotions that are immobilizing.

At the end of a relationship, the situations and circumstances bring with them a set of feelings that are prepared to align you with them, but that doesn't have to be the case.

Just because you're experiencing a devastating situation, it does not mean that your behavior must match the cirucmstance. Yes, you have emotions that must be sorted out, yes you may be floundering about, attempting to manage things as before, and no you may not know where to begin.

Your depeleted emotions were already painfully raw, from the breakdown within; and now you must deal with the breakup. How your ending evolves will depend primarily on the kind of relationship the two of you had to begin with, determining the communcation throughout the process.

Moving forward requires that you face your demons, and recognize your fears. Endings are not ever easy, the dynamics of divorce closely resemble death in regards to the stress element, requiring some pretty phenomenal coping skills.

Whatever happens, don't malign yourself. Each relationship has two sides, you're one half of the equation. Take it easy on yourself, accept that you've done your best, beating yourself down won't heal the situation, it will only break you down even more.

Acceptance is key, It Is What It Is! There are no quick fixes for divorce, divorce is a small component of a much larger societal problem that goes very deep. The issues surrounding divorce are implications of what is going on in the larger scheme of things.

Be patient with yourself, and the process, looking within to begin your healing. Rushing into a new relationship will only create more drama and baggage, so don't be too quick to bandage your pain with a new source of comfort. Be strong, presevere and bravely accept this ending as an opportunity for growth.

Take stock of where you are and move forward using these tools:

1. Create a journal recording your thoughts and releasing your feelings and emotions.

2. Get counseling for additional support through the process.

3. Create a sacred space for quiet time.

4. Pray & Meditate (in that order, listen for answers)

5. Take yourself out on a Play Date weekly to nurture the child within.

6. Exercise to release endorphins (balancing)

7. Take up a creative endeavor/hobby this is your spiritual connection.

Move forward with courage and confidence placing your hope and faith in God. Remember, the old adage. "When one door closes, another door opens." This is your open door.