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Why are Men More Likely to Commit Suicide After Divorce?

According to recent studies, men are two and a half times more likely to commit suicide after divorce as compared to women. These studies have put an end to the famous mistaken belief that women suffer more after divorce.

Women have long been termed as emotional beings by their male counterparts. In fact, it is common for men to ridicule and even feel frustrated about the emotional quotient displayed by women. However, truth is, it is this emotional quotient that helps women cope with divorce far more easily than men. Women tend to make friendships on a far deeper emotional level than men do. These friendships help women deal with their feelings during and after the divorce process because women are able to talk to their friends about their concerns and problems.

Men, on the other hand, tend to form friendships wherein they can get to “hang out” with their friends but not talk about their deep inner feelings. Since men are not able to voice out their bitterness and hurt felt during the divorce, they tend to feel a void in their lives. In fact, it is common for men to seclude themselves from their friends because they do not even know how to have fun with their friends when their minds weigh so heavily with emotional baggage related to divorce.

Men tend to feel more shattered than women after the divorce because in most of the divorce cases involving children, the custody of the children is awarded to the mother. Therefore, all of a sudden, men find themselves to be a mere visitor in their child’s life, which can be a very tough emotion to deal with.

Children tend to act as stress busters during the divorce process because they become a source of love and support after divorce. While custodial mothers are able to reap the rewards of this love and affection and cope with divorce easily, non-custodial fathers tend to feel very lonely because they not only lose their status of being a husband but also of being a father.

It is common for men to blame themselves after the divorce because they feel that divorce could have been averted if they had been more sensitive to their troubled marriage. Truth is, no matter how much a wife complains about problems or concerns in a marriage, husbands mostly never understand the importance of these issues. For that reason, when wives file for a divorce, most husbands are in state of shock. When men are unable to deal with their feelings of guilt, bitterness, loneliness, and anger, suicide seems to be the only alternative.

Survival Strategies for Men to Avoid Suicidal Tendencies

  • Communicate

    It is extremely important for men to talk about their feelings and concerns to someone that they can trust and depend on. Since many men do not know how to talk about their innermost feelings to their male friends, it might help if you seek help of a female friend or relative. Often, gaining insights to problems from a female perspective can be of huge help during such a tough time.

    If you feel that there is no one you can turn to, seek professional help. Professional therapists will not only help you to overcome your fears and problems but will also help you find solutions to these issues and fears. It is important to remember that your inner healing phase will not start unless you let out the bitterness, sadness, or frustration associated with divorce.


  • Join a Divorce Support Group

    Joining a divorce support group is a good way to understand that you are not the only one in this tough situation. There are some divorce groups that specifically cater to the needs of divorced men. Joining these groups is a good way to find out what tools and strategies others have used to cope with the stress and problems related to divorce.


  • Forgive and Move On

    Many times we are not able to move on with our lives after a bitter incident because we fail to forgive those who have caused us hurt and pain. However, truth is, the best way to relieve ourselves of our pain is to forgive the person who is the source of the pain. By forgiving and moving on with your life, you close a bitter chapter of your life and accept the outcome as an eventuality.



James Walsh

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. For more information on Data Recovery see http://www.fields-data-recovery.co.uk

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1. Katir (23:51, 12.01.2009)
The same is true for me, Sam. Infidelity, and the children to be raised by another man. They are even confused about how to relate to me, and that I am their real daddy, as that is what the ex-wife has them call him.

I feel replaced, and discarded. Do you really want to know why it doesn't affect women, author? It is because they have only replaced the man, and kept the family. The men lose all identity, and all that they held dear. They lose all that they loved, and were a part of.

I hope you are doing well, Sam. If you have taken your life, I hope you find both healing, and peace. I am fighting to not go down that road... I don't know how long I can last. I need a miracle.
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2. Sam (15:23, 23.12.2008)
I agree, Katir. I am not divorced yet but I am coping with my wife decision or rather indecision to divorce and the sense of grief and hurt at the thought of losing my wife and my daughter is growing more burdensome every day with the plain fact that my wife\'s infidelity and reasons for divorce are through no real fault of my own. I\'ve never felt more powerless in my life to stop the breakdown of the things I love the most, my marriage and my family. Feels like my death will be the only way to make my wife appreciate the love I gave her and understand the profound hurt she\'s unleashed on my soul.
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3. Katir (15:01, 02.09.2008)
Very good article. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only man struggling with suicide after losing my children and my family. There is no greater pain than the loss of seeing your children grow up each and every day. So much pain, in fact, that suicide indeed seems like a way to never be hurt again.
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4. Justin (13:16, 15.08.2009)
I just cant handle the pain. Its not a decision it just happens its very hard to go thought the pain. It hurts to bad! I have kids and it breaks my heart. I just cant go on like this.
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5. Cassandra (09:43, 05.09.2009)
You guys are just whining. Instead of having been there during the marriage and make the wife feel appreciated and loved you whine and lick your wounds now. How did this happen? Search inside yourselves and get to a psychiatrist because it takes two to tango and somehow you also didn't hold up your end of the deal.
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6. Jim (06:48, 23.07.2009)
Hope you, Katir, and Sam are doing well. As for the author, it is obvious to any man who is or has been thru a divorce that they do not know the whole story. My wife divorced me because "we married young, and I want to experience more, but I cant while I am married".

So, there goes 23 years of my life, my family, my dreams for the future, only to be replaced within a short while. You really want to know what drives a guy to put a gun to his head, destroy his dreams, and make him look back and wonder if the last 1/2 of his life was worth it. These so called experts have no clue..

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