David Weiszloff is a writer for Edulocator. For more information about university mascots visit Edulocator.com
It's almost universally understood that fervor surrounding college and university athletics pales in comparison to our neighbors down south.
In Canada, a packed gym is considered a good turnout; in the U.S., that wouldn't even hold the stadium staff. Simply put, Americans live, breathe and eat sports, whereas Canadians consider it more of a recreation than a religion.
However, we've still managed to keep up: our stadium beer is better, our jeers more provoking ("learn how to pass, eh!") and our mascots are just as ridiculous.
Okay, maybe not Pittsburgh Steelers ridiculous, but still pretty silly. On that note, allow us to present to you the 7 best (and worst) Canadian mascots.
Mascot: Boo Hoo The Bear
Team: Golden Gaels
School: Queen's University
Description: Clad in a Royal Stewart tartan vest and matching tam, Boo Hoo the Bear strikes fear into the hearts of: no one.
In fact, it's hard to be anything but confused when seeing this enormous black bear hit the field. Is he a Scottish bear? Did he eat a Scotsman and steal his clothes?
Either way, Boo Hoo pails in comparison to his forbears (pun intended)--the original Boo Hoo mascots was a real, honest-to-goodness bear that was kept in the basement of Grant Hall. Now that's a mascot you don't want to scrap with.
Mascot: Gee Gee the Horse
Team: Gee Gees
School: University of Ottawa
Description: "What the ______'s a Gee Gee?" is a popular frosh week chant for Carleton University students' but just what is a Gee Gee?
As it turns out, the term 'Gee Gee' has a double meaning: in a derby, it's the first horse out of the gate, and in this case, it also stands for 'Garnet and Grey,' U of O's two official colours.
The fact that it indirectly supports off-track horse betting is kind of cool, I guess. Still, you'd think they could have come up with something a little less convoluted. Mascot names are supposed to be catchy, not clues to the Davinci Code, people!
Mascot: The Lancer
Team: Windsor Lancers
School: University of Windsor
Description: The Lancer just seems like he tries to hard. Here's a guy who's supposed to be doing cartwheels during half-time showing up in a full suit of armour, complete with lance and shield.
Let's be honest, the goal here isn't to actually slay the other team, it's to sell hot dogs and pennants and have a good time. Seriously, Lancer: you sound like a cheesy super villain from my Saturday-morning cartoon childhood.
Rein it in a bit: loose the chestplate and breeches, through on some Bermuda shorts and join the party.
Mascot: GUBA
Team: Alberta Golden Bears
School: University of Alberta
Description: Looks like someone at the University of Alberta was looking over Queen's shoulder.
Let's see: Bear? Check! Tartan skirt? Check? Midriff? Che- wait, what? It seems like GUBA either enjoys halter tops, or can't afford new clothes, or that the University of Alberta doesn't care that their mascot looks like he's begging for change half the time.
Mascot: Patches the Panda
Team: Alberta Pandas
School: University of Alberta
Description: GUBA's on-again, off-again girlfriend, and mascot of the U of A's womens' teams. Although there's probably actually five pandas in all of Canada, this is at least passable compared to the U of A's other mascot' as long as the two of them don't start grinding after a touchdown.
Mascot: Western the Mustang
Team: Western Mustangs
School: University of Western Ontario
Description: It seems that Canadian universities just can't get enough of bears and horses. Can someone explain this to me?
Why universities would be keen to pick mascots that are just a broken leg away from the glue factory is beyond me.
Mascot: Rodney the Raven
Team: Carleton Ravens
University: Carleton University
Description: Finally a mascot that fits. Carleton has ravens on campus; ravens also play basketball and do somersaults for the crowd.
It all makes perfect sense. If only the other universities'what? Yes, I do go to Carleton. What's that got to do with anything?
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