Perception and Misperception With Troubled Teens

Perception is reality, and no where is this more evident than in parent-teen relationships.

The ways in which parents and teens communicate, solve problems, make decisions and manage stress are greatly affected by their perceptions.

Despite the fact that most parent-teen relationships are warm and caring, issues of independence and increasing conflict emerge during the teen years. These two connected issues may because you concern as you try to figure out how to handle them.

In recent years, psychologists have revised their idea of healthy parent-teen relationships. They have found that most teens have warm, close relationships with their parents. They care about their parents' opinion of them and hold their parents' opinions in high regard.

Many teens that do not have good rapport with their parents have had difficulties with them for years. If your relationship with your child has always been strained, there are ways to relate more positively.

Perceptions and Emotions: It is common to blame our feelings on events or people: "When my car broke down, it made me so angry." or "He makes me so angry when he . . .!" These emotional reactions, however, are complex. It wasn't the car's behavior that made the man angry. It wasn't the woman's husband or her teenage son who made her angry. The emotion was based on how each interpreted the events.

When a teen acts out, a parent may think: "He couldn't possibly have a reason for being so obnoxious. That interpretation almost always leads to anger. A mother might realize that her son was irritable because he had a bad day. He may be worrying about a poor grade, perhaps he didn't get the role he wanted in the school play or he and his girl friend may have quarreled. This mother interprets the situation differently and feels sympathy.

Another mother might realize that her son is trying to establish his independence, so she doesn't take his tone of voice personally.

Perception and Communication:

Two issues are important here:
• Communication always involves interpretation.
• Because we base interpretations on values, beliefs and experiences, we could interpret incorrectly.

Perception and Problem Solving: Perception, along with stereotyping is powerful forces in human relationships. Learning how both parents and teens perceive a situation can help improve understanding and communication skills.

The ability and willingness to examine how the process of perception is playing out in your family can go a long way toward improving communication and easing conflict. Many parents know they have a troubled teen on there hands, as these warning signs will help tell. The question many parents have is "What do I do!" or "what are my options? If you have any suggestions for how to improve this site or any questions pertaining to this site, feel free to go:

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There are ways to help to manage your teens and all it takes is some effort to find those answers. It offers a wide variety of information pertaining to parenting teens in today's society. They hope that the information presented on this site will be of some use to parents everywhere. We know that in today's society, parenting teens can be a huge challenge and it always helps to receive a little insight from others who have been down that path. Be sure to come back and see us often as they are continually adding information to the site.