Should You Say "Good Job" to Your Child?

When your child participates in preschool activities in Port Jefferson, NY how should your respond? The immediate response is to gush ‘good job, ‘fantastic', ‘you are a star', and laude our child like Hollywood movie star. It may be a fourteen year old singing the lead in her fifth school musical or an infant learning to roll over – praise is offered so often, and for almost anything that it has lost all meaning.

You will find numerous books and articles telling you that physical punishment or negative consequences are a big no-no. But have you ever seen a book instructing you to cut down on positive reinforcement?

We urge you to continue to give your children all of the support they need. Encourage them, love them beyond belief, and hug them whenever you get a chance. Praise is different than making your child feel good about himself or herself and succeeding. Let's take a good look at praise and early childhood education in Port Jefferson, NY.

Manipulate Your Child

Do you tell your two year old ‘way to go boy' when he finishes dinner without making a mess? Do you say ‘excellent work, Katie' when your ten year old daughter helps clean the table?

Stop and think who is getting the most out of these actions, the child or you? In fact, experts propose you may be saying these things to make things easier for your, not to boost your child's self-esteem.

This type of ‘saying something to your child to get him or her to comply with your demands' may work for a short amount of time. However, there are better ways to work with your children. You can start a conversation with your child about what needs to be done, why it needs to be done, how the house functions, or any other appropriate topic.

Addicted to Praise

Let's admit right here that there are times when you honestly need to praise your child. These are times when praise is not used to manipulate your child or change a behavior. You want to tell your child ‘good job' for their actions.

Child psychology experts warn parents to use praise in the appropriate situations so their children do not become addicted to praise. If you praise your child for every little thing he or she does the child will become overly dependent on you to determine how successful his or actions are or if their decisions are appropriate.

It appears that the abuse of praise such as ‘good job' creates a downward cycle that will trap your child and threaten self-esteem. The more you offer praise the more dependent on praise your child becomes.

Enjoy your child's preschool activities in Port Jefferson, NY and create conversations about the work. Do not over praise and make your child dependent on you for all decisions. The earlier you start the better. You do not want your child to become an adult who constantly needs reassurance that they are doing the right thing.