Caring For The Caregiver - Preventing The Burn Out In You

The relationship that exists between a caregiver and an elderly person is intense and complex. But this relationship is not confined. Many people are affected when a caregiver visits an apartment for senior citizens to give the elderly person the undivided attention that he or she deserves.

The family, friends and coworkers of caregivers are greatly affected by this. Being the primary caregiver for the welfare of an elderly citizen is a weird job as it is fully unpaid for and is very demanding. Most caregivers are the children or close family of the senior citizen being looked after and they have a life, family and a job to manage apart from caring for their elderly parents.

When you are burdened with this responsibility, it is the duty of the people around you to help you. There is also a demand on those related to the caregiver. Now if your mother has to visit Grandpa's apartment every evening for a couple of hours, it implies that she won't be able to help you with homework, fix supper or just won't be there when her little girl wants somebody to talk to.

And if dad has to spend some 30 or 40 odd hours looking after Grandpa, he misses on the time guiding his children, repairing the garbage disposal and making those lame, corny jokes that kids groan at, but still love. Also, friends and fellow workers in the caregiver's world have to give up little or lots of the time and emotions of the caregiver so that he can look after his elderly parent and spend that time with the senior citizen.

If you have a caregiver in your social circle or as part of your family, apart from the sacrifices that you make, you tend to show concern towards your loved one or friend because of the tremendous demands involved in caring for an elderly person. It is an extremely taxing job even to the strongest person and extracts a lot from you loved one. A common syndrome is the caregiver burn out, and its effect is not confined to the caregiver alone. If your spouse, friend, parent or coworker suffers a breakdown due to the stress of looking after her parent, it will have a significant impact on everyone involved.

So it is important that people associated to caregivers spend time caring for that caregiver and provide all the support and help that she needs. Some things that you can do:

> Assure them that you believe strongly in their work. Often, caregivers tend to feel guilty and lonely because they do not spend enough time with friends and family. When you let him know that you support his endeavors completely, this feeling of guilt is removed and it reassures the person.

> Tell her that you miss her.

> Handle household business. If the dad and children finish the chores at home, mom can take some rest and when she knows that you are handling things, she won't have to worry herself with household work.

> Let mom sleep late. You could surprise her with breakfast in bed once in a while.

> Help out. Go over and see if you can help Grandma so that the pressure isn't entirely on mom.

> Surprise her. Every once in a while do something that will surprise and delight her, so that she gets a lively break from her stress of care giving. A limo ride around or a town or a movie can help de-stress a tired caregiver.

If friends, family or coworkers notice any sign of a burn out, it is probably the right time to pitch in and give her all the support she needs before things fall apart. When you care for the caregiver, she will look after her elderly parent more attentively. So, indirectly we help in caring for the caregiver's elderly parents and this is what a society is all about.