Dina Eisenberg blogs on midlife marriage, boomerhood and retirement. If you're a smart boomer with answers or questions, Subscribe to This Marriage Thing by Email
My mom, bless her heart, turns 80 next year. I worry about her. My sister lives with her while my mom cares for my nephews, which she’s done for the past 20 years or so. I think it’s time for her to hang up her apron-strings and relax already. This is not how she envisioned retirement but the reality is things have changed. She's part of the 'sandwich generation'.
These Ain't Your Dad's Golden Years
Ah, the Golden Years. I imagined that my retirement would be a care-free time, sackfuls of chances to do the exciting things I put off while raising a family. You know, like travel and perfecting my cooking. Well, turns out that might a fantasy. Over 34 million baby boomers (and mature adults) are squished by on both sides- caring for children and aging parents. Seems like care-giving never ends and I don’t mean that in a bad way. It’s just bewildering.
These Numbers Don't Add Up to Leisure!
Did you know over 50% of people in their 60-70s provide financial support to their children? Me, neither. Or, that a quarter of folks over 70 lend a hand with household chores like cooking, cleaning and shopping to a relative or friends, according to studies? That might not be any different than earlier generations, but it feels different because families are so geographically far-flung.
Hope to Cope
Since I can’t convince my mom to move in with me- no matter how many times I’ve begged her over the years- I’m starting to line up resources to help us both cope with what’s ahead. Sites like Caring.com are emerging businesses devoted to ‘elderhood’. Even remotely, I can make a difference in my mom's daily life.
I was also thrilled to discover entrepreneurs like Katherine Freund who are developing services that allow elders to be active, social and independent. Freund runs the national Independent Transportation Network, which is like a ‘ride bank’ for non-driving seniors. You can pay to have someone drive your loved one or volunteer to drive and bank those hours for your own family. Like my plan for my blog, www.thismarriagething.com, Katherine took a passion of her own and turned it into a business that helps others. That’s the brand of creative problem-solving we all need to find solutions that work for our families.
What are you doing to take care of your loved ones without ending up like a smushed PBJ sandwich?
Share your elder care solution here
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