Radio Ga Ga

John was a nice enough guy, a little eccentric, talked a bit too much and started or ended most sentences with 'Gee', but on the whole not a 'bad lad'. He was an electrical engineer before retiring and as he always told people was in Thailand to 'experience and explore'. He was a cheerful guy who usually had a hop in his stride and would socialize with anyone.

I first met him through a friend of mine with whom he was lodging, called Mcvicar. "I charge a reasonable rate, keep the room in working order, all I want is a little peace and quiet" Mcvicar grumbled. John had an uncanny knack to keep on talking when in company regardless of whether anyone was listening. "You'd think he'd take the hint, I mean, I sat with him the other night for over an hour without saying a word, I didn't even look at him, but would he stop?" John had just ordered a new receiver from the states for the long distance radio he was building and was keen to share the ins and outs of AM frequency. "Come round to mine tonight Mcvicar and have a few beers, I have a friend visiting from my wife's village", I said. "I've told you before I don't need any help getting a date", Mcvicar replied. "No it's a guy from England called Cliff", I answered. "Go on then it'll give me some peace from 'antenna man'" he replied.

I've known Cliff for nearly 10 years and was introduced to him by his wife, Well, a friend of my wife's mother. He had just returned from England when I first met him and he told me of how he had saved over 5 thousand pounds in less than 6 months doing alcohol and baccy runs across the channel. He paid 5 pounds a week for his YMCA digs and would make up to 4 crossings a day buying his duty free allowance. He had made a contact that would drive down from Birmingham to purchase his wears and then place the next order. Dedicated and highly motivated to return to his Thai sweet heart Well, he would sleep each night with his money strapped round his waist and work the ferries each day. The YMCA in Dover catered for both young and old but most were social drop outs or fresh from prison. So keeping the door bolted and money close by became a necessity. He had at that time two years to wait for his state pension and had run out of money after a chicken farm business had gone feathers up. Two years later he made it to his pension with the money he'd made on the channel, many thanks to P&O ferries!

Mcvicar turned up around 6pm and didn't look happy. "John's coming and before you say anything, he invited himself". "Never mind the more the merrier I suppose" I replied and invited him in. John turned up a few minutes later and introduced himself to Cliff and his wife before I had a chance to say 'transistor'. "Gee it's good to see ya, where ya from, England?" John asked. "Yes, Cheshire" Cliff replied. "And where ya living in Thailand" John asked, "Oh just a little village in Isan" Cliff answered, "Gee sounds interesting, I'll have to get your address before you go" John eagerly announced. The night progressed with more Radio Ga Ga and John got Cliff's address from Well before he left.

A few weeks passed before I saw John again and when I did he seemed happier than ever. He was stretched out on my sofa with his arms behind his head chewing on his trade mark tooth pick looking like the mouse that'd got the cheese. Tock, my wife was busy talking to a girl I recognized from the village and her sister. When she saw me she came running over. "John marry M" she blurted out. "M" I said, "Yes you know M, mama Khai's daughter" Tock replied. She pulled me into the kitchen and explained what had happened. It turned out that John had tracked Cliff down and arrived un-announced in the village with his bags, ready to sample village life. In the week that followed he had made his feelings known through Well, Cliff's wife, for M who was one of their neighbors in her late teens. Quite un-expectantly he had asked her to marry him. After Well had explained to M that this crazy OAP wanted to marry her, plans for a village wedding began. First stop the bride's mother, mama Khai. The dowry was set to a modest 40,000 baht which John had announced was only half of his monthly pension and withdrew from the ATM machine the next day. On top of this he was also to pay for a big piss up for everyone in the village with an endless supply of 'Low Cow' and 'Chang'. He agreed and borrowed some of Cliff's stay pressed Chinos for the big day.

I was lost for words, but asked "Why's your sister here?", "M not want to go any where with John alone, even sleep with clothes on" she explained. Who could blame her I thought as I approached John. "Congratulations", I said "So what's been going on?", "I got married, gee life's good!" he replied. A bit more chit chat and he left with the wife and chaperon in tow.

John's wife soon became home sick and as they had not spoken since the big day John thought it may be best that she went back to the security of her village and un be known to him, her Thai boy friend. "Gee, this kind of wedding, I mean a village do, its not legally binding is it?" He asked me. "You didn't sign any thing did you" I answered, "No, gee I'm not that dumb!".

The last I heard John was putting together a DVD travel guide called: 'Experience & Explore Thailand'.