The Truth About Stress Relief

Is life stressful? Yes, of course. Are there ways to relieve stress? Yes, of course.

For most people the way to relieve stress is to take a tranquilliser, a sleeping pill, a cigarette or a drink of alcohol. Do any of these crutches relieve stress? No, they don't. They simply dull the symptoms of stress.

And the more people rely on these chemical crutches for stress relief, the more they get stressed, because now their bodies have to fight the stress as well as the chemical imbalances.

How is stress defined?

If you do a search on the internet, you will either find many causes of stress, or an acknowledgement that it is not possible to relieve stress.

I do not agree with either view. There are not many causes of stress. It is possible to define stress.

Is for example moving house stressful? Yes, and no. For some people moving house is quite exciting, for example two people in a relationship who move in together, or a family moving to a larger house. For other people moving house is quite stressful, for example moving into a care home or losing your house and moving into rented accommodation.

Or is getting a divorce stressful? For a man who has to pay a large amount of maintenance it could be stressful. However, if the same man was abused by his spouse, the divorce could actually be a relief.

You will find long lists of so-called causes of stress everywhere. None of those life events are really causes of stress. They are all symptoms of stress.

Then what causes stress?

Stress is nothing other than an inner division or inner tension. The level of tension depends on how the person perceives the situation. Where a person has one view of themselves and they get opposite information from the world around them, this causes division and tension.

The inner division is like stretching a rubber band to its limit. While the rubber band is being stretched, you experience emotional and often physical pain. This pain can be dulled by chemical substances, but it does not go away. The rubber band keeps stretching.

If you ignore that inner rubber band, the rest of your body tries to come to the rescue. What is the result? Physical dis-ease elsewhere in your body. Because your body is a fully balanced mechanism, until you ignore that balance and suppress the signs of imbalance.

What happens when that rubber band snaps? You have a nervous breakdown, or a mid-life crisis, or some serious physical illness.

Does that resolve the stress? Of course not. Now you are stressed out as well as physically or mentally unwell.

How can you avoid the consequences of ignored stress?

The first step is to acknowledge the stress. Where you experience the consequences of stress, you need to recognise that something is off balance.

The next step is to do some inner exploration to determine what is causing your internal division. This tension is invariably something that you have a perception about. The only way to relieve your stress is to change your perception.

Does this mean you are always wrong and therefore you always have to change? Of course not. This is not about being right or wrong. This is about outgrowing a belief system and adopting a different belief system at a higher level.

The stress happens when you deny the need to change, and use your entire body and all your emotions to resist the required change.

Life has a way of forcing us to change if we refuse to do what comes natural. And how do we react? We grab chemicals and search for someone to blame. Neither of these solutions work.

The only solution that works is to take ownership of your situation and understand what needs to change. Then change yourself and see how the situation resolves itself. This takes courage, but that is what we are here for. It is possible.