I am a 39 year old husband and father of 5. A closet philosopher and wanna be writer, I have gone through a great deal in life with divorce, integration of step-children, travel with work, financial roller coasters, etc.
When I got married and had kids (boy and girl), I surely hoped the marriage would last forever. Well, we all know that sometimes things don't work out the way we hoped. I never gave too much thought to the idea of getting re-married at first, but as time went on, being alone was certainly not what I wanted. Eventually, I found a woman that I fell in love with and we were together. That was the easy part. She had a daughter also and at first everything was peachy-keen. The kids played together and loved being around each other and things were still great.
As time went on, the influence of the "ex's" was great (the "that's not your kid" mentality) and the newness of being around another kid wore off for each child. The topic of ex-spouses and their influences will be the topic of another article. Things become difficult, of course. when the topic of conversation becomes "my kid" and "your kid". It has been a long battle that has required introspective thinking as to what I am doing wrong and constant discussions with my wife over things she could be doing differently to stop this division of one family. Becoming the "perfect" step-parent is not attainable, but working towards being the best that you can is. It takes both parents to talk and set common goals to work towards this accomplishment.
So...what do you do? At My Family Forums.com, we are promoting this discussion. Integrating families is often times not an easy thing and I know that my wife and I do not stand alone on an island with these issues. We hope to see you there to discuss the topic and work with each other on the best way to deal with it.
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