Accepting Gifts Can be Difficult - How to Enjoy Receiving Gifts

Usually when we think of gift giving, we picture ourselves as the giver of the gift and someone else as the recipient. We read articles and look for ideas about how to give a great gift.

Seldom do we acknowledge that it can sometimes be difficult to accept a gift that someone gives to us. Do you know people who tell you that you shouldn’t have given them a gift? Do you know someone who expresses discomfort when given a present, even for a holiday or their birthday? Do you ever feel that the gift you’ve been given is overwhelming?

It can be hard to receive a gift from someone else. But it’s not impossible, if we learn to look at gift giving a little differently.

The first thing you can do to feel better when someone gives you a gift is to realize that the giver put effort into thinking of a gift for you by going through the process if finding and buying it, or perhaps in making the gift. Don’t feel guilty when you think of this! But realize that no one made the giver think of giving a gift and no one made her go out and get it. She chose to do this herself. Many people enjoy the whole gift giving process. So the whole time, up to and including the point when they gave you their gift, they’ve been doing something pleasant and enjoying themselves.

Next, remember that a gift is a way for someone to express appreciation or affection. People usually give a gift as a token of appreciation, or as a way to say they care or they love you. It feels good to tell people pleasant happy things like “I think you’re swell.” The giver is enjoying being able to share his feelings with you. Yes, just as it is sometimes hard to hear someone thank us for something we did, it can be hard to accept a gift. But while we might be feeling uncomfortable, that discomfort might be decreased if we remind ourselves that the other person is merely telling us they like and/or appreciate us.

Since the person who gave you a gift has enjoyed their part of the process and has expressed pleasant thoughts and feelings to you by giving a gift, you can then remind yourself that it can be your turn, now, to enjoy the process and share pleasant feelings. Gifts do not require reciprocity – that is another aspect of gift giving that makes them so wonderful. But, if you want, you can now look for a reason for giving a gift to the person who just gave you one! Taking turns giving gifts can keep a communication cycle of positive expressions going.

While it can be difficult to actually receive a gift when it is given, try realizing the giver enjoyed the process, remember they are expressing affection or appreciation, and remind yourself that you can do the very same thing yourself.