The Six Best Christmas Golf Gifts (and the Six Worst)

It's a fact...golfers hate Christmas. Alright, maybe 'hate' is a bit too strong a word, but I can guarantee that every golfer in the world will look at his neatly-wrapped presents beneath the Christmas tree this year with some trepidation.

Because for some reason, our loved ones (bless their little cotton socks) think Christmas is the time of year when they can choose the perfect golf present. And they can't.

Believe it not, golfers don't want exploding novelty golf balls. We prefer real ones. And cheap battery-powered score counters are a waste of time. We like using a pencil.

So to make it easy for you to buy the golfer in your family a Christmas gift they'll definitely appreciate - here's a list of the 6 best and 6 worst Christmas golf gifts for men.

The Six Best Golf Gifts
1. Golf hypnosis CDs. Every professional golfer has a 'mind guru' who helps strengthen their mental game. Every amateur golfer cannot afford one - but we can have access to all the tricks of the golf mind coach trade through the golf hypnosis CDs at www.golfhypnotherapy.com. 'Become a Deadly Short Putter' and 'Beat First Tee Nerves' give exactly the kind of mind coaching we need. Written by a qualified PGA Professional golf coach, they're prefect at £12.95 each.

2. An electronic caddie. What's the next best thing to a real caddie? An electronic caddie. And they come no better than the SkyCaddie SG5 Pro Series. It's a battery-powered GPS rangefinder that tells golfers exactly how far they need to hit the ball. There are 16,000 courses worldwide that can downloaded to the SG5, which can be bought from www.skycaddiegps.co.uk

3. A round of golf on a great course. Most golfers love playing new courses - and at www.TeeTimes.co.uk you can organise a round on more than 200 UK courses, with up to 60% off the normal green fee. Some of the country's best courses are online, so give your golfer a great day out.

4. A square driver. Square-shaped golf clubs are all the rage this year, from the RAM Qube3 to the Callaway FT-i used by Ernie Els. It would make your loved one's year to find one poking out from the tinsel.

5. Balls. Proper ones. Whether it's a sleeve of three Titleist ProV1s (the best ball on the planet) or a dozen cheapies, for some strange reason those tiny round things will bring a smile every time. See www.direct-golf.co.uk for a massive selection.

6. A new putter. Golfers are obsessed with putting and putters. We treat them like works of art - collecting them at will. The new MacGregor's Face-off version is super hot, along with the Mizuno Bettinardi range.

The Six Worst Golf Gifts
1. Novelty golf balls. Some explode, some wobble, some dissolve into powder. And some actually bring a smile to our faces - for a millisecond. Don't do it. Not even as a stocking-filler. Save your money and get us some proper balls.

2. Hip flasks. Are we drunks? No, we can live for four hours without a drop of the hard stuff for heaven's sake. We only need water or energy drinks on the course. And we enjoy a pint afterwards. There is no way, ever, that a quart of whisky or rum will improve our game.

3. Scottish stuff. OK, Scotland is the home of golf, but that's as much as we care to know. A tartan towel, tartan bag, tartan tees, tartan socks, is not what you want if you live in London! And the towels are never big enough.

4. Jumpers. With embroidered pictures of golfers. You might as well buy us a sweater with 'Loser' written on it. Golf has become seriously stylish in recent years and anything that makes us look like a throwback from the 50s is out.

5. Electronic scoring devices. At the golf course we get given a pencil and a scorecard. It's efficiency supreme. So we don't need to fiddle about with a wrist-scorer, or a pocket-scorer, or any other weird and wonderful gadget to help us add up.

6. Ball cleaners. In our world, a towel is enough. Anything else just takes up vital bag or pocket space.