Bouncing back after you have a setback or after a major disappointment starts with acceptance. You need to be able to accept where you are right now. In order for a ball to bounce, it needs something to bounce out of, right? So do you. If you want to start bouncing back after a setback or failure, you need to put your feet solidly on the ground of reality.
A natural reaction to setback and disappointment is denial. Escape is common reaction too.
One of my favorite ways to avoid accepting failures is to binge eat. When I'm hiding in a box of cookies (not literally, of course), it may feel good in the moment, but I always feel worse later. Many people hide in drugs, alcohol, shopping, gambling, and many other forms of addiction or self destructive behavior. Unfortunately, none of these actions will help you bounce back.
You must be willing to accept the mess you're in. If you want to whine about it while you're accepting it, that's fine. Whine. Cry. Gnash your teeth. Do whatever helps you really feel and accept the pain of what you've lost. Once you've faced the mess, you're ready to start bouncing back from it.
The next step in bouncing back is developing optimism. You can't go from what you don't want to what you want if you don't believe that you can. Optimism is the fuel that will get you moving to make a change in your life.
Of course, it's tough to be optimistic when you've failed yet again. When the setbacks and disappointments pile up, it can feel like optimism is an idiotic state that only the totally clueless can be in.
Believe me, I know how hard it is to be optimistic when you're starting over AGAIN. As an author who has racked up over 2000 rejection letters in the last couple decades, I've experienced many times when I thought optimism was totally impossible.
So how did I find optimism again so I could bounce back and try again?
I learned to find faith.
"Keep the faith," is often used to encourage people to stay committed to a religion or spiritual practice. But that's not the way I'm using the words faith and keep the faith.
To keep the faith when you're starting over means to remember a very important fact about life: the past does not predict the future. Just because something bad happened in the past, just because you failed the last 100 or 1000 times you tried something doesn't mean you'll fail again. If you remember this, you can find faith that something good can still come your way even after you've experienced a whole bunch of bad.
When you apply optimism and faith to your life, after you accept your situation, you have done what you need to do so you can start bouncing back.
Related Articles
Temporary Setbacks or Permanent Failure?
By: Michael A. Verdicchio | 15/05/2008 | Self Improvement
In life we many times feel, "stuck." We wonder how we got into the situation that we are presently in. It is in those times that we need to be careful with how we define it. Have we failed, or, is it just a setback?
Obstacles Are Nothing More Than Illusions
By: Michael A. Verdicchio | 20/10/2006 | Motivational
Successful people don't quit and throw in the towel. No matter what obstacle you are faced with, don't focus on the obstacle, but instead look for the solution.
Resilience and Becoming Resilient
By: Susan Fiori | 28/03/2008 | Mental Health
Have you ever thought why some people can deal with stress, tragedy and bad times better than others - it's all to do with 'Resilience'. It is believed that 'resilince' is the key for both children and adults when times are tough.
Think Success and You Will Have Success!
By: Ineke Van Lint | 25/03/2006 | Self Help
The universe will give you health, if you learn to think in terms of health, not illness. You will have success if you think in terms of success, not failure. Everything you think about repeatedly will manifest one day or another. So why not think of what
Why Success is Easier Than Failure
By: Daegan Smith | 22/06/2006 | Advice
Most people think that is easy to fail than to succeed. Nothing is further from the truth. It is actually easier to succeed because the journey to success is one fantastic journey.
Simple Step-By-Step System To Online Failure
By: Terry Dean | 12/12/2006 | Marketing
I thought I'd be a little different this week. I'm always telling people how to succeed in their businesses, both on and off the Internet. So let's go a little unusual today... Today I'm going to teach you a simple step-by-step system to failure.
Why would you want to fail?
I honestly...
How to Go From Fear to Success in Network Marketing
By: Barbie Zabel | 30/05/2007 | Motivational
Making money through network marketing has tremendous power to literally abolish all personal financial disasters of the past and propel one into the realm of dreams quickly... but only for those who get beyond their own fear. Here is how to do just that.
Bringing Healthy Goals to Stop Smoking, Diet and Achieving Fitness Into Reality
By: Landa Marsili | 25/09/2007 | Quit Smoking
A new solution brings reality to achieving healthy goals to stop smoking, lose weight or achieve total exercise fitness for life, without any risk of any negative side effects.
Got a Question? Ask.
Ask the community a question about this article:
Frequently Asked Questions
Severe itching from Kidney failure. Help!
By: Sheila | 22-07-2008
My Mother has chronic Kidney failure and is scratching her skin till it bleeds. We have tried all kinds of lotions, creams and ointments but it has not helped. This is driving her crazy. The toxins in her blood is the problem is there any help or relief for this. HELP!
Last stages of Mac liver failure
By: Audrey | 21-07-2008
What are the signs of the last stages of liver failure because of Mac? My brother has a c count of 4 and is very yellow he was given 2 weeks to live but is now on his 5 week. He has a strong appetite and uses pain killers and a sleep aid at night. He has become increasingly weak. Hospice gave him two weeks last week. He does not want to take any meds. We would like to know what to be looking for in his last weeks.
Lung Failure
By: RRR | 16-07-2008
My husband has Chirossis of the liver. Three weeks ago his right lung just ceased to work at all. No cough, no wheeze, no rattle, just stopped. No breath sounds in or out lower or upper lobe. what could have caused this? Nurse said not a blood clot or she would hear upper lobe sounds.
IndyMac Bank
By: sharyn | 16-07-2008
I have Indymac Bank, I was told that the Fed's were taking it over and there would be no problems with people that have checking accounts there. But I tried to go in to cash a check and they said I needed an appointment to do that? Is this how they are doing business now? Should I get what little money I have in there out???
What happens to my reproductive system now that I ...
By: sher | 27-06-2008
What happens to my reproductive system now that I have lost both of my fallopian tubes?
Can a patient of 24yrs female having chronic end ...
By: nidhi | 26-06-2008
can a patient of 24yrs female having chronic end stage renal failure can recover from dialysis
Q&A Powered by:
Latest Health Articles
Stress - Bring An End To The Meal-Time Rush
By: Paul Hata | 21/08/2008
Even if you don't have children, meal time can be major stress time. Your mate might become irritable while awaiting dinner, and you might be grumpy as well. Hunger can be a powerful motivator, but it can also be the cause of major stress. Sometimes, you might find it difficult to concentrate as your stomach is growling.
Mind Over Matter At Vital Times
By: Catherine Harvey | 21/08/2008
A look at one mans survival with the power of the mind after a catastrophic personal injury.
Stress - Are Your Kids Stressing You Out
By: Paul Hata | 21/08/2008
While you can guide your child, you cannot expect to control him or her, particularly when your child reaches the teenage years. Therefore, you have to learn to somehow manage the stress of parenthood before it gets the better of you.
At Home DNA Testing is Here
By: Jason Kay | 21/08/2008
You can't watch a crime drama on TV, or the news (think Anna Nicole Smith) for very long nowadays without hearing about DNA. DNA testing can tell who fathered a child. It can rescue an innocent inmate from prison, or prove the case against a criminal. DNA testing can give...
Fighting Cancer From Within
By: Catherine Harvey | 21/08/2008
A look at the research that is being carried out into the treatment of cancer and how new findings hope to secure a way of using the bodies own defence system to beat the killer disease.
The Health Benefits of Vitamin C
By: Paul Hata | 21/08/2008
The C vitamin is also an antioxidant for the body and helps other vitamins and minerals to be absorbed better. Folic acid and iron, for example, need the C vitamin to maximise their usefulness. The more C vitamin that the body has, the better its defence against colds and other common ailments.
Massage Therapy - History and Development
By: Paul Hata | 21/08/2008
During 500 BC-50 AD, the Greek and Romans used massage on Olympic athletes and to relieve neuralgia and epileptic seizures. Hippocrates, the father of medicine, incorporated massage in medicine. In 130 AD-201 AD, Galen, a Greek physician from the school of gladiators who were rubbed before fighting wrote a book on manual medicine.
What Are The Qualities Of A Good Massage Therapy Clinic
By: Paul Hata | 21/08/2008
Important characteristic of a good massage therapy clinic is having professional masseurs. This means that the massage therapists should have at least a license in the kind of massage they are doing and several years of experience. That way, you can be sure that what they are doing is right and good for your body.
Health 
