What to Do When an Eating Disorder Causes You to Fight with Your Child

If you suspect or know that your teen is suffering from an eating disorder, you are probably doing everything in your power to help him or her. Unfortunately, it’s likely that your child is not interested in your help, and could actually lash out at you for offering your advice or ordering him or her to do something else. You need to find out what to do when an eating disorder causes you to fight with your child, because just getting angry with him or her will probably cause an even bigger fight and widen the distance between you.

First of all, heed this advice: trying to change someone else’s eating habits is only advisable if you’re doing it as part of a treatment plan recommended and guided by a professional. You’re likely to cause more harm than good if you try to change someone on your own, because he or she is likely to be suffering from more than just physical symptoms. In other words, an eating disorder has a lot of psychological implications with it.

The psychological portion of an eating disorder is usually the result of abuse, lack of self-confidence, or a desire for control over some aspect of one’s life. What this means is that the victim actually has had his or her reality distorted. For example, someone who might have her bones showing could still insist that she’s too fat. She’s convinced herself of it so many times that she no longer can see herself for how she truly is, and this is one of the most dangerous aspects of many eating disorders.

So, when wondering what to do when an eating disorder causes you to fight with your child, try thinking about the eating disorder not as the enemy, but something that you and the child can bond over. As much as you might hate to admit it, your own influence could have pushed your child into having an eating disorder, and in order for you to help them, you have to evaluate your own role in the situation. If you have told them they need to lose weight, they might just be taking your advice to an extreme.

The thing to remember is that you are an integral part of helping your child recover from an eating disorder. A lot of the problems that result in an eating disorder stem from feeling inadequate or unloved. It hardly ever helps to be stern or angry with a child who has an eating disorder, because this is probably no different from how they are used to being treated, and might reinforce their decision. Also, remember that not all eating disorders result in weight loss. Compulsive eating is just as serious, and it happens when someone is addicted to food or associates food with feeling good.

Overall, remember what to do when an eating disorder causes you to fight with your child: respect them, try to connect with them, and always seek professional help as soon as possible.