Patrick Attlee has been writing articles for several years. His latest main website was inspired by his recent home renovations. He needed to get storm door hardware and antique door hardware but could find no good site providing impartial advice, so he created one.
In this article we will be looking at things you can look for once the date starts to judge how well things are going. Obviously don't have these things written down in a notebook to consult during the soup course, but just keep them in the back of your mind as the date progresses.
Unless, of course, this is a blind date, you will already have had some interactions prior to the date itself and there must be at least some initial connection between you to get you to this point. However once the date is under way you will both be testing that initial connection to see if it is a reality. There will be lots of clues in your partner's behavior that will suggest how things are going for them. In the early stages of the date you need to be careful not to jump to the conclusion that something is not right because it could all be down to the nerves of either or both of you. There are a few things you can do to measure this so you don't make any hasty decisions.
Ask yourself honestly if you are relaxed or not. If you are all tense and anxious, your date will almost certainly be picking up on this even at a sub-conscious level. It will also likely be preventing your true personality to come through and the difficulty with this is that you will be aware of this and will likely get tenser. If you are not feeling relaxed then make a quick escape to the bathroom and breathe deeply for a few minutes. You can then return and be more objective about whether your tension was due to nerves or the fact that you really don't want to be on this date. This is also true of your date. If you sense they are tense then try to make them at ease, show an interest in them and start a new conversation. Do this until you sense them relaxing or until they themselves take a time out in the bathroom.
Another thing that can inadvertently cause one of you to seize up is a throw away remark that causes offense that the other party never really recovers from. Such a remark may be made because one of you is just very nervous but it has the effect of throwing the date into a irrecoverable tail spin. If this happens at the start of the date, give them the benefit of the doubt and put it down to nerves. It is all too easy to write off the whole evening from a single careless comment like this so just let it wash over you and see how things progress a little before pulling the plug.
The key to all this is to not let things that are actually pretty trivial cause you to write off the date before you have properly got to know the other person. In the initial stages, this could well be down to nerves and you should be prepared for this and make allowances. There will plenty of opportunities later on in the date for you to determine if the person sitting across from you is worth giving further consideration to.
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