Remember Me
forgot your password?

Are you Using These Five Effective Parenting Tips?

These are the first 5 of 10 Effective Parenting Tips - look for the next 5 in our next article.

Your kids deserve your very best all the time. You've only got one chance to mold them into the kind of adult who is productive, thoughtful, enthusiastic, visionary and hardworking. You won't always feel good about doing what is necessary, but remembering that you've only got one chance to get it right for them will help you do what you need to do. Here are five effective parenting tips to help you:

1. There Is No Tomorrow. You've only got right now, today, to do the right thing and to be there emotionally for your children.. Once this "right now" is gone, it's gone forever. Decide that you will make the most of every single moment as often as possible. Decide that you will give them your complete attention even if it means setting your stuff aside. Of course you won't be at the 100% level. No one is. But if you decide in this right now moment to utilize as many of the following right now moments with your kid's benefit held at the forefront, they will benefit from your decision.

2. Begin With The End In Mind. It won't do any good when your child is eighteen years old to look back and wish you'd done things differently. Right now is when you get to make the decisions that will affect his getting to eighteen. Think through what you'd like that to be and then think about how you'll have to "be" in the intervening years to help your child accomplish that. Be sure to listen to what your child says he wants and weave that into the plan. Help your child become an achiever. Your primary goal as a parent is to give your children the tools that they can use to lead happy, healthy and successful lives. That's all that matters. That is your magnificent obsession. Remind yourself each day of the goal you're working towards and remind yourself that it doesn't happen in a single day.

3. Your Influence Is Greatest Every Day. Teaching is what you do every time you interact with your children. And it always happens today. There isn't a moment when you are not teaching your children - if you're helping with schoolwork, watching their team sports or just sitting down to the family meals. It doesn't matter if you're having dinner in your kitchen or if you're a part-time parent who is having dinner at McDonald's. What matters is that you're really there. You are a guide and an anchor. Know that you are a teacher, that you are a role model. That's how you will have the greatest impact on your children. Parenting is about the millions of "small things" and not about big events or sounding great when you talk about them. It's about the quiet times and the little things.

4. Listen To Them. You'll Be Amazed. One of the most important things you can do to fully be with your children is to listen to them with full attention. When that little voice in your head is rattling on incessantly about the past or the future, or coming up with an answer to what you think they're saying, you're not really hearing what they say. If you're not present with your children, they know it. What is the message you're telling them if you're not present? They're not worthy? They're not important? They're not valuable? Stop. Look. Listen. That means stop what you're doing, stop watching the T.V., stop reading the paper, stop thinking about other things. Look. Look into their eyes, you're less likely to be distracted when you're looking into their eyes. Listen. Don't let that voice in your head drown them out. Sometimes to make sure I'm listening, I will repeat in my head what they're saying.

5. Control Your Emotions. Don't yell at your children. If you yell at children, they do not hear you. Instead, you're simply upsetting them. That doesn't mean if you've yelled at your children, you're going to destroy their psyche. Remember, take the long view. We're building a foundation one brick at a time. None of us is perfect. Yelling at your children and upsetting them once will have no effect on them. Yelling at them the entire time they grow up, well.....let's hope that somehow children who have to deal with that eventually learn how to overcome it. Most of us fall somewhere in the middle. The point here is that it's not effective. It's not promoting your magnificent obsession. See if you can pinpoint what kicks off that emotion. It's not your children. Keep in mind your goal of being a great parent and then create a disconnect. Emotions aren't a bad thing. The problem is that we have triggers that release our emotions without thinking.

If you use these effective parenting tips, you'll be on your way to a healthy and happier relationship with your children. Look for five more tips in our next installment in this series.

Len Stauffenger

Len Stauffenger's parents taught him life's simple wisdom. As a divorced dad, he wanted to share that simple wisdom with his girls. "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," his book, is the solution. Len is an author, a Success Coach and an Attorney. http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com

Rate this Article: 0 / 5 stars - 0 vote(s)
Print Email Re-Publish

Add new Comment



Captcha

  • Latest Home and Family Articles
  • More from Len Stauffenger

How To Best Fill Your Gun Cabinets

By: James Dulas | 16/11/2009
Gun cabinets are very nice home fixtures, there's no doubt about that. But the true gun aficionado is more concerned with the contents of the gun cabinet.

How To Best Fill Your Gun Cabinets

By: James Dulas | 16/11/2009
Gun cabinets are very nice home fixtures, there's no doubt about that. But the true gun aficionado is more concerned with the contents of the gun cabinet.

Veterans Day Trivia Quiz – Twenty Quiz Questions with Answers

By: William Lund | 15/11/2009
Well, this was a pretty quiet Veterans Day. I didn’t go anywhere or celebrate in any particular way, but it sounds like an excuse to put up an article consisting of about twenty quiz questions involving Veterans Day and or military and war trivia questions and the like.

10 Things to Consider When Choosing a Neighbourhood

By: Elizabeth McLachlan | 15/11/2009
Where you live is as important as the house you live in. Maybe you have a good idea of where you want to live but don't let that keep you from looking at other neighborhoods. While looking around, don't forget to check the statistics, ask questions, do your research, and...

Unique Wedding Decoration Ideas For An Unforgettable Event

By: Paul Easton | 15/11/2009
The wedding decor should be chosen carefully, taking into account even the smallest details. You should decide which colors will be used, then you can try various combinations, funny or romantic, classical, modern or games of color that create a dynamic atmosphere, full of energy.

A Different Approach to Teaching Kids

By: Soophott Lert | 15/11/2009
Kids of different ages learn by different methods. For example, a toddler that has just turned two might enjoy finger painting, while an 8 year old girl will enjoy playing with her dolls. While various age groups learn by using different material, one thing is true for all age groups: Kids learn best with toys.

Top 10 Green and Eco-Friendly Toy Manufacturers

By: Mara Kaplan | 15/11/2009
A description of the "green" practices of 10 great toy manufacturers

How To Find The Best Deals To Fill Your Gun Cabinets

By: James Dulas | 15/11/2009
Guns are generally costly. But there are ways of finding great deals that will get that will get those cabinets filled in no time. This article contains information on that subject.

Are You a Single Parent on a Tight Budget?

By: Len Stauffenger | 04/06/2009 | Home & Family
Are you a custodial parent in a divorce, in particular, are you a single mother operating on a tight budget? Here are some great budget-stretching tips to help you.

Nine Practical Tips To Teach Your Child About Money

By: Len Stauffenger | 19/05/2009 | Home & Family
Children can be taught early on and easily about handling money in their lives. Any one of these nine practical tips from author and divorced dad, Len Stauffenger, help you get the point across.

Harmonious Interfaces With Your Ex

By: Len Stauffenger | 15/05/2009 | Home & Family
When you're divorced, one of the biggest challenges when there are children involved is the ongoing interface you must have with your ex. Your children deserve this communication because they don't handle change real well, and this communication is part of the continuity they so want and so deserve to have.

Divorced? Self-Care Tips to Help You Heal

By: Len Stauffenger | 09/05/2009 | Home & Family
After divorce, if you are a parent, you're mainly involved in child care. I'm highly recommending self care as well. Divorcees deserve their TLC. It helps in the healing.

Reconciliation vs. Divorce ' Could It Work For You?

By: Len Stauffenger | 05/05/2009 | Home & Family
Why consider reconciliation vs. a divorce? Because divorce has consequences that can be enormous and overwhelming and painful for everyone involved. If you can prevent it, please consider reconciliation.

Do You Know Why You Chose The Mate You Just Divorced

By: Len Stauffenger | 01/05/2009 | Home & Family
You've gone through a divorce and you now know that once is more than enough, right? But do you know how to foster a quality relationship, marry more intelligently the second time around and prevent another divorce? Read on.

Consistent Standards for Your Children: Do You Both Agree on Them

By: Len Stauffenger | 30/04/2009 | Home & Family
Frequently in a divorce, if you are the custodial parent, the children do their homework at your house under your supervision. Because we understand and respect about children coming first when you're divorced, just how are you handling setting consistent implementing of homework standards when they visit their other parent?

Learning About Relationships To Prevent Your Second Divorce

By: Len Stauffenger | 29/04/2009 | Home & Family
When we are young, we are inexperienced and just not savvy when it comes to building quality relationships. We base our decisions on reasons that are subtly buried inside ourselves, and we avoid looking at the clues that are right in front of us. You can unfold the skills that it takes to not make that mistake twice. Nobody wants two divorces.

Submit Your Articles Free: Signup
Article Categories




Use of this web site constitutes acceptance of the Terms Of Use and Privacy Policy | User published content is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
Copyright © 2005-2008 Free Articles by ArticlesBase.com, All rights reserved. (0.29, 6, w2)