Changing Titles

“Bunny.” That’s what my daughter calls one of her aunts. We didn’t intend for her to have a special nickname, it just came out that way when a little child tried to pronounce a name. And it was so cute that it stuck.

My daughter-in-law sometimes calls me “Mamasita.” It came out of a fun conversation we had about what to call me and we were joking around mixing names up with our Mexican heritage. But, now, I love it when she chooses to invoke that name with me.

When my brother-in-law was visiting us he and my daughter were joking around while playing a game and she ended up calling him, “Mr. Plumnickle.” Now she likes to refer to him in that manner as a way to remember a special time and visit with him.

My husband has dubbed many of our nieces and nephews with nicknames taking spins on their real names.  He intentionally gets their name wrong and says it in a different manner – it’s his way of having fun with them. And “fun” is one of his ways of loving.

I think special names and nicknames create a special bond. I know that a lot of people want to be called (or not called) something particular when they become a mother-in-law, Aunt or Grandma. But I think if a name is forced, it can sometimes spoil a special “something” in a relationship that is formed when someone gives you a nickname.  We can get too hung up on a title – when it’s the special bond that matters the most.

Children are so great at reminding us that we need to let go of our expectations. They just want to be important and valued to us! Can a name show them that? Maybe – yes. Maybe it shows them that we don’t expect them to be perfect and like who they are as people and what they come up with. If instead, we insist on them using a certain name or title with us, well, we can often end up pushing them away. We may get what we want in the end, but what is more important in the long run?

If we can let life happen naturally, the surprising and the unexpected can end up being the most treasured.  Sure – it can be a little confusing if one uncle is called different things by different nieces and nephews but it can also be fun and special to each one of those darlings who knows that they have something identifiable and unique that exists just between the two involved in the name exchange.

You never outgrow the need or desire to feel special. And for me, if my grandchildren or nieces and nephews come up with nicknames for me that aren’t hurtful or indecent – I plan on embracing them because it will make me feel singled out and loved by that individual.  So it won’t matter what my “title” is, as long as it encourages and embraces what the “bond” is. And that means more to me than anything.