Divorce & Beyond: I'm Just so Mad!

Anger is one of the most common feelings experienced when going through a divorce. Just about everyone experiences it, whether they initiated the divorce or not.

There are several reasons for this. Of course there is the rejection that's experienced when your spouse tells you they don't want to be married to you anymore. But then you throw in all of the other details such as the kid's reaction to the family separating, splitting up finances and possessions, and everyone else's reaction to the divorce, you're bound to have an angry outburst once in awhile.

While the feeling of anger is universal, the way it is expressed varies. Today, let's look at some of the most common reasons for anger after a divorce.

Acknowledging that you're angry is the first step to being able to manage it. Don't try to ignore it and act like it isn't there. Doing this just causes you to explode and possibly hurt someone unintentionally - like your children.

1. Anger toward your ex-spouse

They are an easy target aren't they? It's not difficult to see them as the ones responsible for everything.

If your spouse left you - they are the horrible person who did this to you. If you chose to leave - it was because your spouse was such a lousy partner. While anger at the beginning of the divorce process is to be expected, what happens if you carry it around with you like a badge of honor? How helpful is that to you in the long run? How helpful is that to your children?

2. Anger your kids express toward you about the divorce

Kids don't like change. They like their lives to be simple, with no wild cards thrown in. When a divorce decision is made, it's out of their control. They don't have a say in it and there will be so many changes for them. You can expect some anger because they know their lives will be drastically altered.

3. Anger at the changes in your circumstances

Let's face it, your life is different now. This couple you've been a part of no longer exists. This family you helped create has altered in appearance. You are now a single parent. What does that mean to you not only as a parent but as an individual too?

More than likely, your financial circumstances have changed. This may have caused a move, a new job, less luxuries and more stress.

These are the three main reasons for the overwhelming feelings of anger during and right after a divorce. Now that you know them, it's important to figure out what to do with them.