 |
How to Deal With Jealousy and Distrust in a Relationship
Author: Brenda Shoshanna  | Posted: 22-03-2008 | Comments: 0 | Views: 26 | Rating: (81)  (?) 
Copyright (c) 2008 Dr. Brenda Shoshanna
When "paranoia" or extreme distrust, arises in a relationship there are many factors which can be causing it. It is absolutely necessary to understand where these feelings are coming from, or else it is easy to act out in the relationship, blame the partner, put all kinds of unhealthy demands upon him, and even believe that he is cheating on you when he is not. Not only does this destroy his trust in himself and good feelings about himself, but he can easily grow to feel there is no way he can please you, or make you secure and happy.
When an individual gives into these feelings of paranoia, (or extreme fear, suspiciousness and jealousy,) and begins to create more and more restrictions upon the partner, or demand more and more information about what he is doing, this is often the beginning of the end.
Loving another person does not mean possessing them, or having them there simply to help you feel better about yourself. This does not take their needs into account. It is not loving or respectful of them, of who they are.
In all relationships each individual needs time alone, time with friends and of course time together. When we take away a person's individuality and freedom to enjoy all aspects of their lives and grow, we are not behaving in a loving way. Sooner or later the individual begins to feel it, and can feel trapped, misunderstood and blamed falsely. Naturally, they then often think of ways of getting out of a relationship such as this.
If one requires that their partner take away the pain they are feeling, they will be disappointed sooner or later. They are looking in the wrong direction. No matter how loving a person is, no matter how solid the relationship, they cannot take away pain and confusion that exists within oneself. We have to take responsibility for our feelings and work them through on our own.
There are many ways to build self esteem and to feel safe once again. These are tools we use day by day to become strong within. Just as we work out in a gym each day, we need to work on ourselves emotionally to build the strength we need to combat fear and negativity. One exercise that can be used is to consciously look for the positive in yourself and your partner. When you find yourself dwelling upon negativities that can or are happening, step back, take a deep breath, and consciously choose to focus upon what is good and right in both him and yourself. We can and must choose health time and time again. Here is an exercise that offers a wonderful way of turning things around.
Relinquishing Blame
Whom or what do you blame for the difficulties you are facing? In what ways do you blame yourself? Make a list.
Now, notice how blaming simply serves as a screen, preventing you from seeking the full picture of what is going on. See how
Give up some blame today. Go to the top of your list and completely let go of blaming that person or circumstance. Breath deeply as you do this. Send the person good wishes. View the situation much as you would view a thunderstorm. Let the storm pass and create an enviornment of kindness and clarity where real communication can take place.
Rate this Article:
Current: 0 / 5 stars - 0 vote(s).
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/home-and-family-articles/how-to-deal-with-jealousy-and-distrust-in-a-relationship-366586.html
|
Submitting articles has become one of the most popular means of generating quality backlinks and targeted traffic to your website. Join us today - It's Free! |
|
Related Articles
The Simple Truths About Falling and Living in Love
By: Brenda Shoshanna | 17/12/2007 | Self Improvement
We are meant to live a life of love. When we're not in love, something's the matter. Unfortunately, most of us have become resigned to sadness, struggle and disappointment in our relationships. This article explores what it is that keeps love from us, and offers simple, effective and powerful steps on how to turn it around.
Save your Marriage (how to Deal With Threats to your Marriage)
By: Brenda Shoshanna | 23/08/2007 | Home and Family
In every marriage there are times when the partners are tested and required to stop and re-define their relationship. This article deals with the nature of threat in a marriage and with one of the most difficult ones, infidelity. It offers specific guidance on how to deal with challenges and use hard times to make the marriage stronger than it was before.
How to Handle Infidelity in a Marriage
By: Brenda Shoshanna | 12/11/2007 | Home and Family
Infidelity and the threat of it are the largest threats to a marriage. However, it is not necessarily fatal. It is possible to heal the marriage and even become closer than before this happened. This article explores ways of dealing with infidelity and looks at some of the things that cause it to take place.
The Simple Truth About Falling And Living In Love
By: Brenda Shoshanna | 24/12/2007 | Relationships
We are meant to live a life of love. When we're not in love, something's the matter. Unfortunately, most of us, unaware of this, become resigned to disappointment, loss and upset in relationships. No matter how successful we are in other aspects of our lives, many do not feel entitled...
Fantasy Lovers: Who They are and How to Handle Them
By: Brenda Shoshanna | 20/09/2007 | Self Improvement
It can be much easier to fall in love with a fantasy than with a real, fesh and blood person. Some become addicted to fantasy relationships in many forms. These individiuals can be deceptively charming and warm. But when reality hits, they are gone. This article explores the fantasy lover, why he/she behaves that way and how to best handle them.
How to Develop Trust in a Relationship
By: Brenda Shoshanna | 04/12/2007 | Self Improvement
It is easy for distrust, suspicion and possessiveness to develop in a relationship, destroying the warmth and good will. This article explores the reasons why this happens and offers specific guidance and ways of letting go of false fears and developing basic trust. When there is cause for doubt, however, we are also shown how the exercises in this article, will help us with that as well.
How to Know if It's Time to Stay or Go in your Relationship?
By: Brenda Shoshanna | 03/09/2007 | Self Improvement
Many individuals spend a great deal of time in relationships wondering whether the person is right for them, and if they should stay or go. However, there are certain checkpoints we can ask ourselves which give a clear direction about which road to follow. This article provides some of these checkpoints and will help you understand more what's going on and what to do.
5 Ways to Increase the Joy in your Relationships
By: Brenda Shoshanna | 07/09/2007 | Relationships
Usually we enter relationships hoping they will make us happy, but there is a big diffrence between happiness and joy. Happiness is fleeting, joy remains and can grow, no matter what is going on. This article describes specific steps to take to develop joy in your relationship and find true fulfillment.
Got a Question? Ask.
Ask the community a question about this article:
Frequently Asked Questions
How do u make a guy fall for you? his a ...
By: wearit | 23-07-2008
how do u make a guy fall for you?
his a capricorn
Love. where?
By: pipkins | 23-07-2008
Do you believe in love? If no, why not? If yes why? Why do you believe in something you cant see? Or hear. You would never know they were there!Some say you feel it i suppose. Could you, in less than 1 minuete, describe to a blind man or a deaf man what it is? How would you manage to convince a blind man that the woman/man stood in front of him that they are the most wonderful/funny/loving /sexiest person in the world? Without hearing them or seeing them? One would never hear you say I love you, And the other one wouldn,t have a clue who,s telling them that they are loved!! Crazy! I think I,ll give it a miss until someone comes up with an answer, cheers
Best way to obtain contract work with foreclosure mediation firms
By: Jennifer | 22-07-2008
I am currently pursuing a position or contract assignment with a foreclosure mediation firm. What is the best way to go about this task? Do these firms hire professionals on a contract basis to handle overload?
Love My Flash - My Space Layout
By: BVP | 22-07-2008
Love my flash player will not activate. Can anyone help?
Anyone know about this company and what they ...
By: kram3360 | 22-07-2008
anyone know about this company and what they charge
Lonely
By: Richard | 22-07-2008
Is there a dating service for men to date women who had a complete sex change
Q&A Powered by: 
Latest Home and Family Articles
Start Your Own Quilting Business: Wall Hangings
By: Penny Halgren | 25/07/2008
If you love appliqu
9 Tips for Wood Floor Care
By: Mario Carini | 25/07/2008
Keeping a wood floor clean doesn't require a lot of work. With just a little maintenance you can keep your floor looking new until you sell your house.
Why Me? I Didn't Want This Divorce
By: Len Stauffenger | 25/07/2008
Can you figure out which stage you might be in for your divorce? Divorced Dad, Len Stauffenger spells it out for you and it's very similar to the stages one goes through upon the death of a loved one. Hang in there. Eventually you will complete all the stages. Happiness is on the other side.
Personalized Photo Puzzles - Get Personal With Your Photos
By: Colin Southwell | 25/07/2008
The photos you take always tell a unique story capturing those magical moments in time. There is nothing really more personal than these memories and that's why using your photos to create a personalized photo puzzle for someone close to you is a great gift idea. You're not only giving...
Are You at a Loss on How to Find a Unique Baby Gift? Read This
By: Paul Wise | 24/07/2008
Purchasing the unique baby gift may be viewed upon in two manners. Some people see it as a perfect pleasure while others see it as an impossible task. The task remains the same whether it is a family member, friend, or work colleague bearing the new bundle. But with our...
Final Walk-through Lessons From a Philadelphia Realtor
By: Mark Wade | 24/07/2008
In this artice, Philadelphia Real Estate specialist Mark Wade gives you some advice on what to expect when doing a final walk-through of the home you are about to purchase.
Tiling a Bathroom
By: John Fyfe | 24/07/2008
How you can improve your bathroom with new tiles.
Buying an Appropriate Baby Gift
By: Abe S. | 24/07/2008
When shopping for baby gifts, it really depends on what your goal is. Are you shopping for baby gifts for new parents who are just starting out? Are you offering baby gifts that will be useful, or just fun? Perhaps you want to give a baby gift that is memorable...
More from Brenda Shoshanna
Repairing Hurtful Relationships
By: Brenda Shoshanna | 21/06/2008 | Relationships
So much hurt and pain arises from our feeling of having been betrayed. Not only does this undercut the foundation of our relationships, but it can cause us to lose trust in ourselves. We blame ourselves for having been deceived, for not being smart enough to realize what has been...
The Art Of Creating Win-Win Relationships
By: Brenda Shoshanna | 28/05/2008 | Relationships
There are many factors which contribute to creating win-win relationships, but one of the most powerful ones is to understand and practice the power of acknowledgment. Acknowledgment means the willingness to offer honest, positive feedback to another about what they are doing and how it is affecting you.
Usually, we focus...
How to Break Free From the Addiction to Possessiveness and Control
By: Brenda Shoshanna | 04/04/2008 | Self Improvement
When life presents many challenges the desire to control can seem natural. However, many soon become addiction to possessiveness and control as a way of feeling secure. This article explores the nature of control, how it becomes an addiction and offers exercises which show how to break free.
How to Stop Self Sabotage
By: Brenda Shoshanna | 30/03/2008 | Self Improvement
Some can't figure out why things often start out beautifully either at work, in a relationship, or in a project and then always fall apart.But, self sabotage is common and many who are in the grip of it are unaware of what is going on. This article discusses the causes of self sabotage - why we don't let ourselves win, and what to do about it.
How to Develop True Self Worth and Really Win
By: Brenda Shoshanna | 12/03/2008 | Self Improvement
In order to feel good about themselves, most compare themselves to others, compete and try to win in all areas of their life. They do not realize, however, that this is not true winning and whatever they gain in this manner usually backfires. Article describes ways of building true of self worth and includes wonderful exercises to show you how to create true it in your life.
How to Get Rid of your Enemies Easily
By: Brenda Shoshanna | 31/01/2008 | Business
We all think the enemy is somewhere out there and use incredible amounts of time, energy and resources on keeping ourselves safe. This unique article shows where the enemy truly is and how to quickly be free of the fear and negativity this causes in our lives. Try the unusual steps provided here and see how it is to live a life of good will, balance and health.
The Simple Truth About Falling And Living In Love
By: Brenda Shoshanna | 24/12/2007 | Relationships
We are meant to live a life of love. When we're not in love, something's the matter. Unfortunately, most of us, unaware of this, become resigned to disappointment, loss and upset in relationships. No matter how successful we are in other aspects of our lives, many do not feel entitled...
The Simple Truths About Falling and Living in Love
By: Brenda Shoshanna | 17/12/2007 | Self Improvement
We are meant to live a life of love. When we're not in love, something's the matter. Unfortunately, most of us have become resigned to sadness, struggle and disappointment in our relationships. This article explores what it is that keeps love from us, and offers simple, effective and powerful steps on how to turn it around.
|
|
Home and Family 
