Miscarriage - a Devastating Time for Both Parents

Pregnancy is a very exciting and busy time for most mums and dads but sometimes things can go wrong. Miscarriages happen, some people believe its natures way of making sure you have a healthy baby.

As devastating as it may be sometimes a miscarriage can occur in what is seen to be a normal pregnancy. Pregnancy can be a tricky time for some people, no matter what they do. They can give up drinking alcohol and cut down or stop smoking , eat healthily and look after their bodies but still miscarriages can happen for many reasons. Miscarriages are just recently beginning to be recognized as a valid grief issue. Having a miscarriage is very painful and doubting that fact makes it even more painful. A miscarriage is often a traumatic event for both partners, and can cause feelings similar to the loss of a child or other member of the family or close friend.. Although one cannot generalise, a miscarriage is a bereavement and with it comes a sense of loss

A miscarriage is classified as an involuntary abortion, it is actually termed "spontaneous abortion" by health care professionals. It is the loss of a baby usually before the 20th week of pregnancy, with most miscarriages occurring in the first trimester. I.e. the first 12 weeks, that's why parents breath a sigh of relief and feel its safe to tell people about the pregnancy after that time. Miscarriage rates for true first time pregnancies are very high, fair higher than most people would believe and could be related to the fact that a women's immune system has not yet learned how to help her carry a baby.

Miscarriage symptoms usually start with back and abdominal pain and bleeding sometimes with cramping. It is safe to say though that not everyone who bleeds has a miscarriage. If you do miscarry, or know for certain a miscarriage is occurring, you may need to go into hospital to ensure all the pregnancy has come away, as this can cause health problems if it hasn't.

The reasons why a miscarriage occurs can range from anything between uterine abnormalities to psychological upheavals, and more often than not during the grieving process the woman will find it difficult to obtain peace within herself, often asking the questions "Why me? What did I do wrong. A miscarriage can also occur when the level of HCG is rising too slowly, and when the HCG level in your blood is decreasing over time, a miscarriage is almost certain. ( HCG is a hormone that is produced by the placenta during pregnancy. It should rise steadly throughout a normal pregnancy). If when you go for your checkups a heartbeat is not heard or your cervix is dilated, or widened, or if your membranes have ruptured, then most likely a miscarriage is in progress, or has already happened.

The thing that stands out most about miscarriage is that the loss of an unborn baby early on in pregnancy is very easy for others to dismiss because there is often no physical evidence of the loss.

Really the only healer for this, both in the case of physical and emotional scars is time, and only when family and friends view the miscarriage as a "real" bereavement can a mother and father begin the long and painful journey of healing from such a lonely, misunderstood loss.