Playtime Etiquette, A Skill Learned and Refined At Home

Copyright (c) 2009 Elke Smith

Your child's social skills and how he relates to others is a reflection of the influence parents have on their children. It isn't until children mature that they begin to realize the quality and endurance of their relationships depends largely on the type of social skills learned and refined in early childhood. How often have you heard your child say something like, "Mommy, why do I have to be nice to Johnny when he acts so mean to me?" "Natalie is so nice and she always shares things with me, do I have to play with Johnny when I know he doesn't like me and even hits me sometimes?"

In my article "Children and Valuable Life Skills Revealed by Doing Jigsaw Puzzles", I pointed out certain life skills such as patience, persistence and self-worth, but neglected to mention the importance of developing proper social skills such as getting along with others. Playtime is the perfect time to begin teaching your little one acceptable social skills and how to effectively relate to their playmates. Much of a child's behavior is learned by example but verbal reinforcement is also necessary as they learn not all behavior is acceptable. What social qualities can you teach your little one to make this world a better place? Consider the following:

1. Teach your little one to like their playmates, even those that are not easy to like. Teach them to be nice. Teach them that anyone can like someone who likes them back and to remember, it is the playmate that is hard to love that usually needs affection and acceptance the most.

2. Teach your little one to respond to their playmate without violence, hitting or biting even when your little's ones playmate is aggressive. Teach them to turn the other cheek and that "tit for tat" is not acceptable.

3. Teach that "what goes around, comes around". Teach your child to think about how they would like to be treated before they act out only to regret their action later. Societies throughout the world promote the Golden Rule and realize how essential it is to maintaining a civilized society.

4. Teach your little one that first impressions could be misleading and not to judge their playmates when their behavior is not acceptable. Everyone has a bad day at times and others are just shy and need to be brought out of their shell. Teach your little one the importance of getting to know someone from the inside out.

5. Teach your little one that everyone makes mistakes and the importance of forgiveness. If your little one is the offender, teach him to genuinely say "I'm sorry".

6. Teach your little one the rewards of sharing. It's natural to want something and to take it, it takes self discipline to want to share with others. Help them to understand that life is not "all about me"; it's about giving and sharing

As an author, my primary focus is to provide information about educational toys but I would be remiss if I neglected to mention the importance of proper social skills and how to apply them during play. My expertise is not in psychology but I am quick to mention that I am an expert at being a mother; over time you too will have the well earned reputation of expert through your own tears and trial and error. Spend time with your little one and teach them the basic social skills with love and patience. Wait patiently...you will reap the reward of your endeavors when your little one has grown up and exemplifies an inner character that is sure to shine.