SEX EDUCATION AMONG CHILDREN
The reason we boast sometimes on Indian culture, is because it has rich values, values that are of high morale and unique to the world. Values are something on which our life thrives. We find organizations thriving on values, families stand united on its values, and the very humanity stands on human values. Without values, an individual would have no identity. We deliver value when we execute pride in holding our national symbols. We deliver value when we show respect to our elders. We owe value when we look at each female with the respect as high as that for a mother. And it is these values, that brings in us courage to hold against the odds. It is these values that help us to go ahead in life along with our family, with our friends, with our colleagues, with the society and with the nation all together. No doubt, values are as important as our life itself.
One of these great Indian values is about educating our children to hold against the most devastating erotic feelings towards opposite gender, the so called ‘Sex’. Sex is a powerful temptation and it requires very strong values to hold upon it. However, it is now days challenged by educated section of society, particularly the followers of western culture, in the name of exposing the mystery to the curious and immature child.
The conclusion made by these literates is that it is a prevention methodology, which would make the next generation safe from the perils of Sex. Universally, prevention is better than cure, goes as a law, but the question remains – Is sex education a prevention, cure or an experiment the result of which is either not known or is deliberately being forced in the society? What if you have educated a child in sex and he fails to hold his temptations thereafter? What would you call that situation – the prevention failed or the medicine failed? Let us try to understand prevention in a better way. If I am not mistaken, prevention is a boundary, a boundary that tells you what lies on the other side. At a broad level, there are three types of boundaries:
• First, we are completely aware what lie on the other side of the boundary. For example, nearly every one knows the after effect of smoking.
• Second, we are partially or unaware of the negative factors and accept the boundaries as a part of cultural values, with the awareness of the positive factors within the boundary. For example, if we do exercise, we say it is a preventive measure from bad health. The details of bad health may not be known in completeness to the doer, but there is a straight conception that fits to his mind – exercise is good for health.
• Third, we are completely unaware of positive or negative factors on either side of the boundary. For example, doing some rituals as a religious practice.
If Sex education is a prevention boundary, it should find a place in one of the above category. First, why do we need this education? A simple answer is that we do it sometimes. Second, how do we do sex (even with our spouse): in privacy or publicly? Do we discuss it out openly with friends and expose our spouse to them? If answers to these questions is ‘No’ and convincingly ‘No’, then the first boundary lies with the adults itself – how can they talk sex with their children or students, when we cannot practice it before them? We have to understand a very important aspect here. If we dare to talk such things with children, we are breaking away the boundary of respect and regard straight away (they or we not able to talk sex with each other signifying that there is some regard that produces this shyness or hesitation). We are undoubtedly introducing a concept that would teach our children to go beyond this boundary and easily practice sex, the barriers being broken and broken by teachers and parents first. During childhood, sex is a curiosity and hence is not known to them completely. All they know is that it is considered wrong by elders and is practiced between parents. Curiosity can take shape of temptation and temptations would lead to doing the wrong, if children are not taught of values that can help them prevent the temptation. Talking to them about sex would kill their curiosity and give birth to educated temptation. Thus, sex education so seeming to be an experimented cure, would necessarily lead to side effect of practicing sex as an educated practitioner. Sex education would in fact as a catalyst in producing sexual practices, and can in no way be a preventive measure. This education has no relation with feelings like temptations. Temptations can be only held by practice of cultural values, may be as a fear to breach the respectful barrier. Preventive measures are healthier and positive aspects, and can be talked and propagated positively towards everyone. Holding to values and teaching our children to remain in boundaries is actually a preventive measure and would protect majority of them from committing the hazard.
The proposed solution is still experimentation – the world is yet to see a generation that would be protected from practicing sex early during childhood and teenage after getting educated on sex. The proposed solution of sex education is thus very much risky and it can totally devastate the society if it fails to deliver the purpose, provoking children to enter premature sexual relations.
The intuition and notion of sex education as a solution started to create the awareness towards the deadly disease ‘AIDS’. It is a disease born out of sex and can spread out of various reasons which includes unsafe sex, blood transfusion, etc. The first unseen and politicized mistake is acceptance by the society that people need to be aware of this disease and should adapt to safe sex practices. At this point it seemed unquestionably correct, as adults were to be educated for usage of condoms. Unfortunately, this was the stepping stone towards growing errors. The ground error is that it is accepted that adults cannot hold from doing extra-marital and pre-marital affairs. And the true solution negated is – people not educated on values and importance of holding on values. It is here values plays its importance and Indian value in this term is very much known to the society – no extra-marital affairs and no pre-marital affairs – complete honesty with the partner and thus complete dedication towards their home leading to a life that is happy and supported by your relations and respected by outsiders – No possibility of AIDS in existence.
But more ground fact is that above values cannot be achieved unless it is inculcated in people when they are still ripe, when they are as young as children. Childhood is a state where you shape up your character. It takes huge effort for adults to change their nature, but not for a child. Values inculcated in children can help them grow to a brighter and healthier personality. This seems to me so simple to execute, simple because it can very easily get passed on to following generation as family values. In fact, it is still a part of Indian culture, which by the weapon of sex education, being totally devastated under the umbrella of the word ‘EDUCATION’. What is wrong in asking our children to respect elders and consider every woman as respectable as our own mother and sister? It is all about building this strong and positive perception in our little gems. In fact, would we dare to call our little angels as angels and gems, the moment we realize that he has adopted to means like sex which is not suitable to his age, which his mind would not absorb to the fullest of the concept, where there would be every chance for him to slip towards experiencing it because now the education is exposing the vulnerable erotic and ecstatic feelings which is yet in abnormal form of curiosity in the child – would we still dare to call our children as angels and gems. Will he not start challenging his patience by thinking the same about his relations? Will he then enjoy respect and regards towards any of the opposite gender? And I wonder why it is not thought that once sex goes into the education stream of children, children would by natural manner start talking about it among them. A child boy will talk to a child girl about their sex knowledge – a boundary that protects every child (at least most of them), from sexual pitfalls at early age would be totally destroyed. Is this what our modern parent expects from their children? As long as children do not talk about sex, they would fear to break the boundary and majority of the generation can be saved. But once, this is broken, majority of the generation would be devastated.
I sometimes ponder, why is human so weak to not realize the problems of practices like sex education? Why didn’t they look at societies which has already experimented this as a solution? We can very well go into the western education system where sex is a compulsory education and try to quantify and derive statistics on whether it has actually helped children from doing sex. The facts would be un-amazingly opposite to what is being proposed. They are exposed to sex as an adoptable practice, they are aware of how to protect from sexual disease, for instance by using condoms, and they simply enter into actually doing it. Why don’t we realize a simple thing, children would experiment everything if they are given the freedom? As responsible adults, we are to guide children about wrong and right and not expose them to the wrongs and the means to do the wrongs without getting harmed.
It would be surprising to understand that foundations of such human weaknesses are laid down by modern western thinkers, who adopt the theory and practice of allowing children to do what they wish. These thinkers believe that children require information about everything that they see and hear and if not provided they will get it from wrong sources, and hence, as responsible parents and elders we should share with them all problems like sex, deaths, hazards, etc. Truly speaking, there is a very thin boundary between good and bad, between right and wrong, so thin that once you cross, there is nearly no regret, no comeback. People often start smoking or drinking, with an attitude to taste – how it feels – and the boundary is broken. Next time, it is not the first time and they do it with the intention that it would be the last time and the action repeats. Why can’t we straightaway put into the minds of our children to keep away from these things by letting them realize that it is bad – very bad? Some parents agree to this as the impact of smoking is quite visible to them. How can it happen that all other behaviors of life don’t have similar negative impacts? It is seriously required to define the boundary of right and wrong in all that we do. For instance, philosophers and psychiatrists are now provoking people to talk sex with children. They believe that they will learn it from wrong sources and stealthily, which would create negative behavior in them. How silly? Why can’t children be allowed to consider it wrong as long as they are children? Why aren’t they allowed to learn about such things as they grow in boundaries and learn to practice it only in right manner at right time? Why are these great thinkers so eager to take away the opportunity of self – development from these children, which nature has provided them? Nature doesn’t allow children to do sex and hence it is wrong for them as long as they are children. What is wrong in telling them that it is wrong and bad when actually it is wrong at their stage? They automatically will learn its importance and usage when they grow and such children will respect sex and practice it religiously as a part of married life.
Accepting that children would learn sex from wrong sources, is actually an acceptance to the happenings in the society around – cultural degradation in social environment remains unchallenged and in fact attains maturity by allowing the upcoming generation to get educated on it and practice it untimely. Children would grow physically weak, and to much greater extent mentally weak if they endeavor to unfold their temptations through sexual education. The next generation is being challenged for their superiority of behavior and the induced sex education would surely overthrow the master culture of respect and regard.
We need to help our children to enhance their resistive power, their tolerance power, their patience, their understanding to respect and regard the values taught by parents and teachers. We cannot simply accept that our children would learn from wrong source about habits that are tempting, if we do not allow them to learn from us. We cannot make our children so weak that they go for anything that fulfills their mental desires and curiosity. We need to develop in them right from their childhood a habit to hold on temptations, so that they get matured enough to handle toughest situations in life. Indian culture have always taught children to grow up by practicing patience, yoga, respect towards elders, and all positive aspects that can create a great individual. Isn’t it necessary for our society to have stable families with respectable practices?
If Indian values and practices that taught children of such high attitude are considered as Stone Age by modern tutors, this would be unfortunate for the country. It is so simple to understand that people of Stone Age were used to living in nudity, and if we have grown rich in knowledge and understood the importance of clothes in societies, we have to respect clothes. Clothes are the first indication of boundaries against sex and children are to be protected from media which breaks this boundary. Let us promise to help our upcoming generation to become strong mentally, brace enough to fight these petty temptations and grow powerful in their thinking so that they are capable of doing great tasks.
SEX IN HINDUISM
Swami Vivekanand said, “In west, every woman other than mother is a wife. Among Hindus, every woman other than wife is a mother.” I do not know other religion, than Hinduism, which teaches values of so high regard. Such high values exist because sex was never neglected in Indian philosophy – it was rather researched to be a powerful source of energy in any individual. It was understood that any energy has to be utilized in the boundary of natural law and hence, sex was to be practiced by recognized partners, only for specific purpose and within age boundaries. It was recognized that mastering sex required immense control on the self and practicing it only with partners required even greater control on self. Going beyond this to practice it only for the purpose of reproduction, to meet the purpose of nature, was even tougher. Thus, this natural power of every creature was considered as a natural power and as usual, every natural power in Hindu philosophy holds a Deity in its name. Thus, ‘Kamadeva’ (Deity of lust) came into being. Sex became a concept of worship and anything worship-able was never misused.
Sex as a study went deep to unfold all its secrets for Ayurvedic practitioners. But for the common people, it remained a respectable action. This is one major reason, why we do not find any major disease related to sex known in Indian societies. People often quote examples of ‘Khajuraho’ as a symbol of Hindu sex – which is very wrong – why was such sensual images created in caves? Were such caves a general practice of production? How many books of Hindus describe Sex as openly as ‘Khajuraho’? The answers to these questions, clarifies, that there must have been some purpose behind ‘Khajuraho’ which is lost in the past.
Hinduism has never taught utilizing any natural power in negative fashion – unlike modern science. And sex is one such power that exists in Hinduism within natural human boundaries.
It is often seen that one bad belief by virtue of its natural capacity draws another bad belief. If Sex education among children is an attempt to molest the future of nation, the Long Leaders by virtue of their devastating attitude build one after another similar attitude – producing Reservation into system that can eradicate the unity of the nation and prove the critics that Casteism is a part of not only Hinduism, but also of Hindu nation – in which case, the concept of Secularism would be lost and immediately the Hindus would get attached to it.
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