One of the most difficult things we can teach our children is responsibility. While knowing right from wrong may be the first step, getting your child to knowingly and willingly act in a responsible manner is the ultimate goal. The concept of responsibility, like most general ideas, can be difficult for children to grasp.
We never want to restrict our child’s freedoms or stifle them in anyway. Of course, we often feel we are doing just that when we attempt to teach responsibility. If we go to far, we may even cause them to rebel.
Educating them about consequences may be the key to teaching responsibility. It can start with something as simple as, “if you don’t clean your room, you cannot watch TV tonight; the choice is up to you.” Giving them a specific choice, with a specific consequence will help teach them what affects their decisions have. By repeating choices and consequences to them in this manner, we can help make a lasting impression.
By allowing them to make a conscious choice, they will not feel forced or bullied. Most children will see a sense of fairness in the options.
The choices and consequences we provide will depend on the child’s age. Telling a 7 year old the consequence of doing drugs may involve living on the street may not make sense to them. However, telling them the consequence of not eating their greens means they cannot have dessert is bound to cause a connection.
Removing privileges is the most common consequence for certain behaviors or not performing certain tasks. The child will begin to see that when they get their homework done, or clean their room, they are rewarded for it. This helps define a general foundation that can lead to self-aware responsibility.
Children, especially teenagers, want have a sense of autonomy. If we restrict it too much, they will only rebel. It is important to allow a certain amount of freedom and to not be too strict.
The goal is not to force responsibility, but rather to encourage them to develop it on their own. Take an active interest in their life and help guide them with goals and rewards. Teach them responsibility without becoming a drill sergeant.
Matt Adler is the creator of http://www.laffodils.com a free website for the DIY gardener and landscaper.
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