Why Is There Infidelity In My Life?

Was your divorce caused by infidelity? It's one of the most painful experiences to experience. If divorce is new in your life, you might want to avoid my words, least of all agree with them. We enter into marriage with such high hopes for fidelity tattooed across our minds and hearts and we vow to be faithful to our mate. "And then something happens." The causes of infidelity in a marriage belong to both the husband and the wife, regardless of which one was actually unfaithful. If you don't admit to your role in the experience, you are bound to repeat it, so I'd strongly urge you to read about these ideas with an open mind in order to prevent this from ever happening to you again. Unfaithfulness, or having an affair, is often viewed as a betrayal of the marriage commitment. If the affair was physical or only inside your mind, both these kinds of infidelity create pain for the other spouse who looks at either one of them as some form of betrayal and breaking of the marriage vows. I can tell you that the person who is performing the infidelity is doing so for themselves, and not to go against their spouse. The infidel thinks they have valid reasons to blame their spouse, for example, the spouse has neglected them in their marriage; their spouse spends more time with the kids; their spouse has quit communicating openly with them. These are just some of the excuses for blaming someone else for what is really their infidelity, but if you are the non-offender, do look at these and see if you do any of them. The unfaithful spouse frequently works from a perspective of being jealous of his spouse for a variety of reasons, some of them too silly to even mention. Are you one of those who accepts excuses like this? Maybe an honest look at your commitment to your relationship with your spouse is due. Infidelity sometimes stems from judgments that are made about the spouse: you might think that they are not a good wage earner, so you're justified to fool around; she might be a plain Jane, and since you're such a prince, you feel justified to have an affair. He might uphold a higher moral standard than you do, which makes you think it's okay to lie and cheat on him because that'll show him! These are all mistaken justifications and need the light of honesty shined on them. You might be outgrowing the relationship but you stay in it because by now, you are financially involved to the hilt and it would be a financial smack in the jaws to divorce, so why not just have a fling to cut the boredom, add a little spice, and basically (in your mind only) honor the commitment because, after all, "It's only sex, not love." So many people do not buy that line of BS. You might work with someone who is extremely attractive and what began as innocent flirting could end up as a full blown affair. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction and what might feel great now, could end up as guilt or shame later on, so take the long view. Or is this just an act of revenge because you are aging and your spouse is holding her own a bit better than you? Have you considered what are you teaching your children? Is your example good for them? Don't think that they are quite young now and are unaware of what you're doing. They'll find out sooner or later. Don't you want to be their Big Daddy for always and forever? Making it through the other side of an affair leaves both members of the marriage shaken. I found some wonderful vulnerability quizzes on the internet that you can take to see where you stand in this sensitive situation. http://tinyurl.com/67y9au I hope and pray that you never experience infidelity again. Divorce isn't fun, and if you wise up, you'll no longer have to bear the blame.