Birthday & Children Jokes; Funny Baby & Toddlers Humour

BIRTHDAY JOKES & CHILDREN HUMOR –HILARIOUSLY FUNNY CHILD SATIRE, BABY, TODDLERS HUMOUR

(Based on author’s site www.geocities.com/bdyjks)

It’s quite amazing how humorous a child can be, what satirical even comical situation can arise with kids, in these hilariously funny birthday and children, baby and toddler jokes...

When the little girl returned from her friend's birthday party, her mother asked if she had thanked the hostess of the party before leaving. "No." said the little girl, "The person before me did, and my friend's mother said 'Don't mention it' -so, I didn't..."

"So, what are we then -boy or girl?" asked one of the baby twins, and "I know how to find out," said the other and disappeared under the sheets, then reappeared, and declared "I am a boy, and you are a girl." "O-oh, how clever you are!" exclaimed the girl baby, "How could you tell!?" and boy baby proudly explained, "Oh, it was easy to tell -I am wearing blue booties, and you are wearing pink ones…"

An elderly man asked a young boy if he could see him across the road. The boy crossed the road, stood on the pavement, turned to him and shouted: "Yes.. I can…"

The little girl tossed some pieces of bread to a bird at the zoo, and when the bird looked to her for more, she asked her mother what bird it was. Told that it was a stork, the little girl was so excited: "O-oh.. it must have recognised me!.."

The little boy, came in running and excitedly announced that he had sold the cat for £10,000. "O-o-h…" asked his father, "They paid by cheque?" "No.." replied the boy, " I got two £5,000 kittens for it..."

"Did you put an ad. in the local paper, about your missing dog..?" asked a boy's friend. "Don't be silly.." he said, "My dog can't read…"

The little girl, before going to bed, said her prayers: "… God, please make bad people good." She then added: "And good people nice…"

"Yup!" boasted the young boy to her friends: "I jumped on a young girl the other day, lay her down on the ground, pulled up her skirt, tore her stockings off, grabbed hold of her panties.. and tore the elastic out for my catapult!"

"Uncle won't be arriving today," announced mum, after she was telephoned the news, "He's missed the train today and will start at the same time, tomorrow". "Oh, dear!" remarked the little girl, "He's going to miss it again then, isn't he, if he starts at the same time...!?"

An anecdote, about his in childhood rather plump eldest son, of teacher and thinker the late Orhan Seyfi Ari: "Other children grow vertically, mine horizontally!"

"How did you get that black eye!?" exclaimed the little boy's mother. "You told me good boys don't fight," he said, "but one fought back!.."

"You ask so many questions -I can't know the answers to all of them" exclaimed, rather tired, a parent, "Do you know what might have happened if I had asked my parents as many questions as you do!?" The child thought, then replied "You might've known the answers..?"

"Thank you, auntie," said the little girl as she opened her birthday present, "I always wanted a nice pin cushion.. but not very much…"

The author has a website at: http://www.geocities.com/eoa_uk